Pursuing from the Shore (Sun Rays #2)

Chapter 9

Entry: Redler's Archive

Red.

It's my passion I used to hide. Now... I'm not hiding it anymore.

It's my hair. My guitar. My favorite color. My name. Red.

And somehow... I survived it. I felt free when I played, because I saw myself—and the siren-eyed guy saw me the same way.

I remembered him saying he's going to be my number one fan. Probably just a bluff. Or maybe... I was wrong.

— aredgate

###

Chapter 9

There are moments when a thought just slips in, whether I'm ever someone worth noticing, or if I'm just... there.

I don't really mind being unknown. Or maybe I've just gotten used to it.

It's not that I don't like people. I really do. I like the idea of meeting someone who understands the same things I do. Someone I don't have to explain myself to too much.

People say nothing happens if you don't put yourself out there. I get that. But I don't think being seen always has to be loud. There has to be quieter ways for people to find each other.

I used to be the kind of person who stayed in the background without thinking twice about it. It felt easier that way.

My twin brother, Renz, was the opposite. He never had to try to be noticed. I never knew how he did it.

I'm still not sure how I changed. I just know that, little by little, I started finding things I was comfortable holding on to.

Katulad na lang ngayon—standing with my bandmates after a performance, the noise still settling around us.

I'm not the loudest, not the one people remember first. But I stayed. I played. I didn't disappear halfway through like I used to want to.

That counts for something.

I don't want to be known by a lot of people. I don't need that. I just... want to be understood in a way that feels real.

Even if I don't say much. Even if I keep most things to myself.

There's still a part of me that hopes someone will notice, not everything... but enough.

We ended up winning first place, along with a special award for Best Theme among all the bands. All our hard work and passion truly paid off tonight. My bandmates and I stood together on stage, bathed in the warmth of victory. I felt full, like every drop of sweat we gave was worth it.

Nag-take lang kami ng picture bago bumaba mula sa stage. Edorina, Renzler, and Asther welcomed me with their warm smiles and greetings.

"Solid 'yong performance niyo, Red!" magiliw na sabi ni Asther. Edo nodded, agreeing with her friend.

"Yup, yup! Nabitin kaming dalawa ni Asther!" Edo commented this time.

Renzler cleared his throat, his eyebrows furrowed. "Ako rin, may ibibitin."

Natawa ako kay Renzler kaya inirapan niya ako nang sobra.

The night was already a bit late but Renz and I decided to stay still. Edo and Asther are with us, too. I somehow want to celebrate our achievement tonight, pero iyong mga bandmates ko ay abala roon sa mga students na mukhang fans na nila.

While I was there, I was thinking about that dummy, and about what happened earlier.

That moment still won't leave my head, like something my body hasn't fully caught up with yet. There's this strange feeling in my chest—somewhere between nerves and relief.