Chosen Family🫶

Chapter 9: catastrophic blues, moving on was always easy for me to do

The image of 1989 straddling speak now was seared red hot in midnights mind.

She threw up into the street.

The night had started out well, she and evermore had shared a bottle of wine in her room and they'd started dancing when evermore suggested they go out, they'd dressed up and evermore had driven them to a rooftop bar in the city.

Sometime in the night evermore had faded into the crowd and midnights was left alone on the balcony. Some guy had bought her a round of tequila, she had vomited on his jeans.

Her head hurt with images of 1989 and she could feel herself slowly falling apart. Lately she'd started drinking more and more and she could feel depression creeping slowly back like an old friend she'd fallen out of touch with.

A couple years ago she'd been in a really toxic relationship, her ex boyfriend used to hit her and blame her for all his problems, eventually midnights had taken him to court for sexual and domestic abuse, she had won the case but she hadn't felt like she'd won in any other way.

That was when she'd started drinking, her whole life had been tied to her boyfriend and eventually she'd had to move cities, that was when she'd met 1989. Lover had friends in the law firm who had taken midnights' case and she had offered for midnights to move in with her and the girls. Midnights had been sceptical but she hadn't really had a choice, lover was very forceful.

Lover had found her a therapist and taken her to the hospital but midnights had still been at the bottom of a very dark pit, until 1989 had moved in.

She had been everything that midnights wished she was herself, loud and proud about her bisexuality, kind and caring and so refreshingly happy. She was sarcastic and witty and she made midnights laugh and suddenly midnights was falling for her.

Midnights had bought a vintage vinyl player and she'd been setting it up when 1989 had come in to help her, casual back and forth banter had lead to bisexual flirting had led to kissing had lead to the most important relationship in midnights life, and now she'd fucked it up.

Back then she'd been living for 1989 and it had saved her, she couldn't explain why everything had come crashing back down so badly now but she knew that 1989 had saved her from it the first time, she couldn't ask her to live through it again now. 

She knew that she'd hurt 1989 and that pained her almost more than anything else. She had loved her, she still did love her, and it was an all-encompassing, soulmates type of even-in-an-another-life-I'd-find-you love, and midnights knew that she would never ever move on.

Life was just just going to be shit for a while, scratch that, life was just going to be shit.

So she clung tight to the bottle and screamed 'YASSSS QUEEN' at the girl walking in a short skirt on the other side of the road.

The girl ran across the road and midnights drunk ass brain grabbed her by the face and planted a kiss on her mouth.

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1989 pulled her ex girlfriends hands off of her face.

'Midnights what the hell is going on?!'

Midnights was clearly drunk as fuck but that didn't explain why she'd just tried kiss her ex girlfriend

'9? You'd nor meanna beeeeee here'

Yep. Drunk as FUCK

Midnights started to sway on her feet, she reached out and started to play with 1989's beach blonde hair

1989 leaned into midnights touch, just for a minute she could forget that midnights was drunk and that she wasn't her girlfriend anymore

And then the swaying stopped, and midnights passed out into 1989's arms.

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This had happened a lot, back when they had first started dating. It almost felt like muscle memory to 1989 has she twisted midnights up into her arms and carried her round the block.

She reached her powder blue mini and slug midnights into the backseat, lay her in recovery position and held her hair back while the older girl hurled mucus into a plastic bag

9 rubbed her back slowly in circles in the way she knew never failed to calm midnights down and slow her breathing, then she closed the doors, got in the front seat, and drove them home

Later that night 1989 slowly smiled from her seat on the floor as midnights blinked open navy blue eyes blurred with the haze of hangover.

Midnights mumbled something vaguely incoherent, 1989 walked over and sat down on the bed next to her

'What was that?'

It was silent for a moment and then, 'I'm sorry'

9 blinked, she didn't know what to do with that so she let midnights carry on

'I'm sorry for breaking up with you, I'm sorry for ruining my life, my head really hurts, I don't really know what I was thinking I was trying to protect you why do you have to be such a good person I didn't want to hurt you I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to, i didn't mean to hurt you I only wanted to-'

'Midnights shush, I read your diary. I saw it. I know. And it's okay, and I understand why you did it, even if it was stupid.'

'Stupid?'

'It was the dumbest thing you've ever done. Loving you was never meant to be easy, that's how I know it's real. And I'm not in love with parts of you, I'm in love with all of you, every little broken part of you and if you think you have to protect me from who you really are then you're a hell of a lot more idiotic than I originally thought. I want to help you, I want to support you, that's what a relationship is, but for that to happen you have to trust me enough to tell me what hurts, do you trust me enough for that?'

Midnights sat up and took 1989's hand in hers, 'yes.'

9 smiled, 'okay, do you want to try again then?'

'Can I take you out to dinner on Saturday?'

'Depends...Will you buy me fried chicken?'

'And ice cream.'

'Deal.'