Borrowed Time Part 2

Chapter 221

Micheal's birthday had never been a happy day for him, and Juliette really didn't know how to explain that to a group of friends who so desperately wanted to celebrate him with a party, he just didn't like it.

Like... 

At all.

"Is Micheal normally this glum on his birthday?"  Emma asked, plopping down next to her on the couch before he swung his legs over her lap.  Juliette sighed, resting her hands on their calves as she shook her head, seeing how he was standing in the darkened corner with Shelby's arm around his waist as she whispered softly to him, looking as anxious as she felt.

He didn't really get like this normally, but he hated his birthday - Micheal didn't like when things changed that he couldn't stop from changing, which Juliette understood so well, she had the same exact problem.  He also wasn't that big on parties, so this was out of his normal comfort zone.

"Not normally like this, but he's normally a little gloomy, yeah." She said, and Emma looked concerned, leaning forward from where she had been lounging to rest her elbows on her thighs as she looked at Juliette.

Sometimes she forgot that not everyone knew what Micheal really had going on under the surface - she'd been there for enough of his panic attacks to know.  But someone like Emma wouldn't know that.

He hid it so well when he wanted to.

"Why?  Does he have some bad memories?" She asked, and Juliette shook her head.  It wasn't something that was a bad memory thing, it was more just... Dread.  He dreaded getting older, he dreaded change, he feared the death that would eventually come.

That was how it went.

"No, he just... Doesn't want things to change." She turned to look at them, placing her hand on their leg as she spoke. She wanted to make sure that she held Emma's attention when she said this... Not that she doubted that she had it, Emma made sure to make such aggressive eye contact that sometimes she didn't just want to look away, but she had to. "Each year is a reminder that life isn't guaranteed, and he gets in his head about that." She explained, and Emma blinked, nodding as he grimaced, turning away before he looked down at his lap... Okay, so that was hitting something in them, okay....

"Oh... Yeah, I can understand that." He drummed his hands on his thighs before letting out a chuckle and shaking his head. Emma lifted their head then, looking over at her instead of down, seeming still lost in thought. "I'm constantly scared I'm just gonna die." They said, and Juliette nodded slowly. Yeah, that was a feeling that she understood.

Sometimes she'd get flashbacks to that day with Dale, when he held a gun to her head, or how it felt to be beaten with the bible by Samantha or thrown into the door hinge, or how it had felt to see Esme with a gun to their head, and she just remembered how fragile human life really was.

It was fucking terrifying.

"Felt." Mmm... Okay, that was certainly a response.

"Well, I've almost died before." Juliette's eyebrows shot up as she looked over at her. Emma furrowed their brows, looking confused at her response as they rested their chin on their hand. "Did I ever tell you that?" They asked, and it was a genuine question, she could tell. Juliette shook her head.

No! If one of her best friends had told her that they had almost died before, she probably would've remembered that for the rest of her goddamn life, and Emma said it so fucking casually... Like it wasn't even something she thought of anymore, but also something that occupied her mind somehow.