Borrowed Time Part 2

Chapter 226

Becky had been eerily quiet all day long, very similarly to how she used to act before she came out, before she was allowed to be the fun, energetic person that Juliette had gotten the privilege to get to know all over again, and it was starting to worry her. Her eyes were vacant, clouded with self-doubt and self-hate and Juliette hated how she would pull her sweater forward to conceal her stomach like she always had when they were kids - it was a move that she knew well, she'd started doing the same thing when kids had finally gotten cruel enough to tell her just how horrendous her body was to look at, but she didn't want Becky doing it.

Hell, she didn't want anyone she loved to be insecure with how they looked or who they were, and she knew damn well that Becky would double her concern if it were her that was acting despondent... But she didn't know how to get through to her - really, how was she supposed to do something like this? What was the right thing to say?

Hey, your mom's a total fucking bitch and I literally cannot believe what she said to you and I do know exactly what you're going through. Stop hiding yourself because you're too pretty to be ashamed of how you look... It just seemed a bit aggressive, which was not what she was going for right now, she wanted to go for unwavering support.

Beside her, Carly cleared her throat, making her jump a bit as she placed a hand over her heart... God, she needed to put a bell on her, like a kitten or some shit.

"Fuck, you scared me." She breathed, and Carly let out a humorless chuckle, crossing her arms across her chest as she looked at Becky, lips pursed with worry as she cocked her head. She couldn't imagine what that felt like, but she was sure that if Esme were here, they'd know what to say. How many times had Esme looked at her that same way? How many times had Esme had to look at Becky that way when they were dating.

It seemed familiar even if she was on the receiving end of it most of the time, like something she could slip into with a little effort.

"Been here the whole time, Smith... We've been staring at the same thing." She mumbled, making Juliette wince... Yeah. Carly was worse off than she was with this, the worry in her tone was betraying her in the strangest way - normally she could only hear the slight southern twang in Carly's voice when she was drunk, but it was coming through hard right now, cloaking her voice into something else entirely.

She reached out, placing a tentative hand on Carly's shoulder, a touch that was easily leaned into as she let out a breath of relief, squeezing softly. She didn't want Carly to feel like she had to accept the touch, but she was glad that she was offering something that could be accepted so readily.

"Is she... How was she last night?" She asked quietly, not wanting to have Becky overhear... She knew how it felt to be treated with kid gloves the night after a breakdown, it was never fun but she also needed to know without Becky insisting that she was fine because she knew what a load of shit that was.

Carly sighed, shrugging as she crossed her arms across her chest, chewing on her lip.

"Crying. Silently, but whenever I looked over, I just saw that her face was damp. I don't think she slept, she was already up and dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed by the time that I got up, and that was at 6:00 this morning... She was showered, clean... Eerily quiet and entirely reserved. It's like seeing her mom hit some kind of fucking time machine and now she can't feel comfortable in her skin anymore. Does that make sense?" She asked, and Juliette nodded, feeling cold in the pit of her chest because that feeling was yeah, all too familiar. She used to always do that when she felt out of place or out of control, it was like a reminder to herself that she was in charge, not other people. She used to force herself to stay up for as long as possible, to shower in freezing water even after her skin was numb just to remind herself of her agency... She'd done it a few times at Shelby's, she'd get up at odd hours and then just... Sit there. Ready.