No time to Die

17

Zuko poured the water bender a drink as she sat at the bar on a stool looking around curiously at the pub. She heard him slide the drink to her and turned back, he set down two more small glasses and filled those up as well.

"Let's make things easier" Zuko raised the shot glass to her and Katara agreed, clinking their shots and took it at the same time.

"Let's talk then," Katara hissed at the burning alcohol in her mouth and drank the other one to cool her off.

"We were together for four years, four years, why all of a sudden you just left?" Zuko leaned against the counter.

"I have to be forward about it, did you not want to be with me before the twins birth?" He sighed in defeat but waited for her answer. She didn't have the words yet to give him one.

"When did you fall out of love?" He gulped not really wanting the answer but needed to know.

"I never fell out of love with you Zuko," she answered faster.

"Then why did you leave?" He asked again sharply.

"Because I'm selfish!" Katara cried out.

"Katara I need more than that, what happened? I need to know what happened that made you think I couldn't help you anymore? We've always helped each other, saved each other, why couldn't you let me help you this time?" He pushed and Katara covered her face with a small whimper.

"I saw something, I don't know if it was the spirits or if it was deaths door but I saw something when I was laying there and-and-" she started to shake, she shouldn't be acting like this.

"Okay and?" Zuko kept his voice low.

"I thought I was dead, I felt that I already died, until you came back in the room and touched me again I thought I was dead, I couldn't even see fully I didn't even see the first baby, I thought it was over for me," Katara inhaled a deep breath and looked back at Zuko.

"All I could think was that I'm not done, I didn't get to be done yet, I had so much to do, I wanted to do so much more, it's only selfishness," she looked seeing how his heart was breaking in front of her. She can't imagine how he must've been the first time.

"You know I tried to get rid of them, I didn't want to do this, aito and ren, I tried to send them with your father a few times to be raised in the south," Zuko scoffed shaking his head, he poured himself another shot of sake.

"The last time I tried to get someone else to take them was on their first birthdays,"

"They were only ten days old when you left, you told me how to know the difference in infant cries of what they might need, showed me how to properly hold them, feed them, and change them, so you knew you were going to leave the day they were born?" He pursed his lips holding the shot.

"subconsciously I think I did, but I never told myself, hey your leaving your family tomorrow better pack," Katara shrugged sipping her drink.

"So you left because you wanted to go help the world again, go fucking find Aang again? After we went off the grid for two years," he rolled his eyes and took the shot.

"When you put it like that then yea," she sighed.

"Wow, wow wow... this gives me no closure," zuko shook his head running his hand through his longer hair.

"Do you regret leaving?" He asked now keeping his eyes down.

"Every day," she nodded.

"I should've believed you when you told me it was going to be okay, but I really didn't think it was," katara finished her drink and bended the drops at the bottom, swirling the liquid.

"I've disappointed and failed so many people, but failing you was one of the hardest things I ever done, I can't apologize enough to you Zuko," she bowed her head down in shame.

"I'm so sorry, I always will be, it's not fair to you, or to those sweet boys,"

"Its not, not fair at all, being a father was something you knew I was so afraid of, and you made me do it on my own, if it wasn't for Hakoda finding me I don't know what would've happened," Zuko poured himself another shot.

"What do you want to do from here Tara?" He took the shot and set the glass down in front of her.

"What can I do? Want me to come back and be their mom, do you even want me back?" Katara grabbed the bottle and poured her own shot.

"Nope, that told me what I needed to know, I'm not going cause confusion," he took the bottle when she was done and closed it back up.

Katara pursed her lips and nodded, taking the shot then standing.

"I am sorry Zuko, I do care about you," she hugged herself anxiously as she waited.

"I care about you too, have a safe trip back, I'll see you in a month kat," he said softly leaning back on the counter.

"I'll see you in a month Zuko," katara nodded and with that she left the sanctuary pub and traveled back to the camp.

Zuko locked the door when she left with a heavy sigh. Resting his head against the door and stood there collecting his thoughts.

"Papa?"

Zuko looked behind him and saw ren standing there with his stuff animal in his arms and a tired look on his face.

"Hey baby, why are you awake?" Zuko smiled back at him and went to scoop up the child.

"You weren't upstairs, did Miss Katara leave?" Ren rested his head on his shoulder and held onto his father.

"Yea she just left, she didn't want to wake you up but she said goodbye," zuko leaned his cheek on top of rens head as the boy closed his eyes again.

"Papa you seem sad?" He noticed and Zuko held him a little tighter.

"I am, we use to be best friends when we were kids," Zuko admitted and walked up the stairs back to their home.

"Are you happy you get to see her again?" Ren asked curiously.

"I am, but it still makes me sad," he gulped a little.

"I'll be your best friend papa," ren giggled and Zuko kissed the top of his head.

"Thank you, now back to bed mister," he smiled and set ren back in his bed as the boy was already starting to fall back asleep.

He sat on the floor next to Rens bed, stroking the boys hair as he fell back asleep with a hand over zukos arm, he loved his boys more than he ever could. He only wanted to give them the world, maybe that's why he agreed to fight again so he could. Maybe they could go back to the palace and be raised with a home that wasn't above drunks, clothes that weren't covered in dirt. He wanted them to be the best they could, with the best books, best foods, be around the best people.

"I love you ren," he kissed his baby's cheek.

"I love you aito," he went over and kissed the other twins head.