Broken Mate (MM) (COMPLETE)

Chapter Twenty Three

Knox Brigs

"Hiking isn't really my thing," Xan says, pouting. We just pulled into the lot for a date. I know hiking isn't his thing, but there's a pretty overlook and I packed a picnic. And by that I mean a bunch of junk food Xan loves.

"It's a short walk angel, then we're sitting" I climb out of my car, and he follows. He's in my clothes, of course. They're too big, but he loves his oversized outfits.

And I love seeing him in my clothes.

"Will you carry me back?" Xan comes around the side of the car, wrapping his arms around my torso.

"If you can't make it back, I will '' i kiss his head, and move away to grab the bags of stuff. There's one bag with food and another with a blanket. "Ready?'' I ask, slipping my hand into his. He nods, squeezing my fingers.

We start the short hike, which only takes about 10 to 15 minutes. Xan stays close, taking in everything around him.

"It's nice," Xan admits.

"It is. Good walking weather"

"I don't want to walk though. It's not my thing. Bran? He would love this"

"I can see that. He's crazy built. Same with Noah"

"Yeah, they both train like no tomorrow"

"Makes sense" I give him a small smile. We finally make it to the small lookout. I get the blanket out, spreading it out over the gravel. Xan plops down, getting comfy instantly. I sit down and sort through the bags.

I hand him some candy, and he happily opens it. He plops the gummies into his mouth, looking at the view. "It is pretty" the sun is starting to set, so it's creating a pretty pink in the horizon. My eyes find Xan again though.

He's the real view. His curls are perfect on his head, his hazel eyes are beautiful. Everything about my mate is beautiful. His laugh, the way he cares about the people he loves, his amazing advice, how level headed he is.

And that brings me to why we're here.

"I need to talk to you, actually" I murmur, turning towards him. He nods, popping another gummy into his mouth.

"All this has been the best time of my life. Being here with you. I just. I really care about you and uh. I love you, Xan." the words finally come out. I feel a weight lifted from my chest. Loving Xan has been second nature for me. It's been easy. It came so naturally.

"I love you too," he whispers, before climbing onto my lap. His scent surrounds me, he surrounds me. His lips are on mine, pressing firmly into me. "I love you, so much" he whispers against my lips.

My arms circle his waist, pulling our bodies together. He cups my jaw, slowly pulling away. "I'm so happy I found you, baby" I whisper, letting the words settle between us.

—

We get back to the pack house pretty late. By the time we get ready for bed, its well past midnight. Xan is restless though, tossing and turning. I wrap him in my arms, pulling him back against my body. "What's wrong angel?" I murmured, my voice heavy with sleep.

"Mind's just running" he whispers, relaxing into me. "Not good thoughts"

My hand slips under his shirt running over his scarred stomach. My thumb rubs gentle circles on his skin. "What's going through that head?"

"What if you stop loving me? What if I'm not enough" his voice cracks. I bury my head into his neck, kissing the skin gently.

"You'll always be enough for me, and I won't stop loving you. But you need to be enough for yourself. That's all that matters"

"How do I do that?"

"I don't know angel. That's something you have to figure out. But you just gotta tell yourself, and believe it. Have you talked to your therapist about it?"

"No" he's quiet for a minute, then he continues "I guess i should" he turns in my arms, his face inches from mine. "I want to be enough for me, for us"

"You'll always be everything to me, baby." I murmured, placing a gentle kiss to his head. "Demons and all. You'll be everything, Alexander"

He buries his face into my neck, moving closer so every part of us is touching. "I got so lucky" he whispers against my skin. "I appreciate you, Knox"

"I know angel"

—-

My heart breaks, because when I wake up the next morning, he can't get out of bed. He can't talk, and he just lays there curled up. His demons are getting him. They're holding him hostage. So I eat some food, and drink a sports drink. Then I made some coffee.

I get Xan food, and a sports drink and i carry it into our room. "Food and drink is here. I'll be right back "I murmur, kissing his curly head.

I use the bathroom, get my coffee and laptop and then I'm back in bed. Xan cuddles up to my leg, his head resting on my thigh as i put on a show on netflix. He doesn't move from his spot for over three hours.

We sit there, and watch episode after episode. Xan's there, but he's not. He's hurting, but I won't let him hurt alone. Not anymore. If he's in pain, we'll do it together. Because I love him, and I'll always choose him.

He's my forever, and I will show him. I'll show him he's enough for me, until he can be enough for himself.

By 5pm that day, Xan slowly sits up. His eyes are empty, but he murmurs. "Gotta pee" and he does. He uses the bathroom, and eats the food I bring him. I have him drink lots of fluid, and then we spend the rest of the night in bed watching the show.

My fingers comb through his hair, and he stays glued to me. There's no place I'd rather be, then here with him.

Demons and all, that's my man.

"Sorry" he murmurs, nuzzling my leg. I run my fingers down his back, then back up.

"It's okay. No need to be sorry"

"I ruined our moment. I ruined today"

"You didn't ruin anything. Everything is fine. You needed this, so this is what we will do. We will do this everyday if it's what you need, Xan. We're a team. It's you and me. I promise"

He doesn't respond for a while, and then he's climbing into my lap, resting his head on my shoulder. My arms circle around him, and he cuddles closer. "Thank you for always being so good to me"

"Of course," i murmur, kissing his head.

"Love you babe" he murmurs, kissing my jaw gently.

"Love you more, angel" 

.........

Awwww I love them. They're relationship is so emotionally advanced compared to the other ones I've created. I think there love is gonna be so strong. What are your thoughts?

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