Tearing Down Walls

Tearing Down Walls 31

Chapter 31 Havannah

           “Havannah!” my name was shouted from the living room. Why can’t I ever sleep in? I lazily got out of bed and shuffled down the hall, hitting a few walls and tripping over the carpet. Harry stood in front of the couch with his arms crossed. He was staring at the television.

            “Why must you wake me up this early?” when he turned around and looked at me I noticed tears in his eyes. “Harry?” he shook his head and pointed at the lady on the screen.

            We received information from the man himself. The camera turned to face a sharply dressed Jordan. My stomach dropped. So you and Havannah have been secretly seeing each since when? Jordan smiled. “We’ve been dating since Harry cheated on her.”  He looked down sympathetically. “I felt bad for her, so we made up a plan to get back at him.”  The lady smiled. An anonymous source sent in this picture of Jordan and Havannah outside Harry Styles posh home. What made you change your mind about the whole situation? The longer I watched the more I wanted to kill Jordan. “I met Harry and the rest of the band at Nando’s and he didn’t seem like the horrible person Havannah described.” I curled my hands into fist. Harry turned off the T.V. and opened his mouth, but he lost all his words and just shook his head.

            “You’re really believing everything he just said, aren’t you?” he threw his hands in the air.

            “I just saw a picture of you and him on my T.V. hugging. What am I suppose to think!” he ran a hand through his curls. “On my porch!” I sighed.

            “Harry. I would never do that to you.” He shook his head. “I haven’t even talked toJordanlong enough to plan anything.”

            “So you have talked to him?” his head shot up and he looked hurt.

            “I did yesterday! He came over here and when I asked him what he wanted he hugged me!” I yelled. “Claire popped out of the bushes with a camera and he told me about selling this ‘story’ to magazines.” I put my hand on my hip and shook my head.

            “Why didn’t you tell me that yesterday?” he sat down on the coffee table and I rolled my eyes.

            “I tried! You came home exhausted and you didn’t want to listen to the important thing I had to tell you, so now we are fighting.” I sighed. “I don’t understand you.” He nodded.

            “I’m sorry.” He stood up, but I shook my head.

            “You don’t even trust me. How am I suppose to leave here and go back home knowing that?” he didn’t say anything. I really needed to scream. I got ready in twenty minutes and grabbed my purse. I was about to leave when Harry saw me from the kitchen.

            “Where are you going?” he jogged over to where I was standing. I rolled my eyes.

            “I don’t know. Why? Are you going to send someone with me so I don’t make anymore plans withJordan?” he narrowed his eyes. I felt bad, but we both were having a pretty shitty day.

            “Whatever Havannah. Do what you want.” I shook my head before narrowing my eyes at him.

            “We’re doing exactly what they want us to do, and I feel like we don’t really care.” He looked at me confused.

            “What are you talking about?” he asked.

            “I feel like we’re only together because we were before you came back toEngland. There’s nothing between us anymore because we never spend time with each other.” I shook my head before leaving him to think about what I just said.

*

I bet this time of night you’re still up,

I bet you’re tired from a long hard week,

I bet you’re sitting in your chair by the window,

Looking out at the city and I bet,

Sometimes you wonder bout me,

And I just wanna tell you,

It takes everything in me,

Not to call you,

And I wish I could run to you,

And I hope you know that,

Every time I don’t I almost do,

I almost do,

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you,

Cause each time you reach out,

There’s no reply,

And I bet it never ever occurred to you,

That I can’t say hello to you,

And risk another goodbye,

            Thank god for bathrooms. I cleaned up my tear stained face and made sure I looked decent before leaving Nando’s only to bump into Niall. “Hey Vannah.” He took one look at my face and the smile was wiped clean off his. “What’s wrong?” I smiled.

            “Do I look that bad?” he laughed and shook his head. “Why are you here?” he blushed and looked at the ground.

            “I’m getting me and Kat food.” I smiled and I felt a pang of something. Me and Harry use to be like that. I must’ve zoned out because Niall was snapping his fingers in front of my face. “Vannah? Vannah what’s wrong?”

            “I’m fine. Did you watch E! Network this morning?” he nodded and then realization hit him like a freight train.

            “He believed it didn’t he?” I nodded. “Harry’s naïve Vannah.” I looked at my hands wanting to believe him.

            “It’s not just that. It’s the fact that he doesn’t trust me.” I sighed. “He’s the one who cheated and I still trust him! So I don’t understand why. He’s like,” I rolled my eyes to hold back the new tears. “I feel like the only reason we’re together is because we haven’t had a reason to break-up.” I threw my hands up. “Here’s the reason I guess.” Niall shook his head.

            “You’re giving up that easy?” I shrugged. “You and Harry love each other. Just because you guys don’t spend a lot of time together doesn’t mean that it’s gone.”

            “But it can mean it’s barely there.” I mumbled and he ran a hand down his face. “I got to go Niall.” I smiled weakly and we hugged before I left.

            Once I got back to Harry’s he was sitting on the couch eating a plate full of French fries. I walked in and sat beside him. There was an awkward silence between us before he muted this singing show he was watching and set the plate down on the table. I could feel him looking at me, but I wasn’t sure I was ready for what we were going to talk about.

            “I love you Havannah.” I didn’t look at him. He placed my hands in his. “Yesterday morning. Our third or fourth food fight, I don’t really know because I lost track.” You could hear him smiling. “Your brown curls were falling out of your hair tie. Your laugh filled every inch of this huge house. When you squealed because you were just as surprised as I was.” He laughed before lifting my chin up so my eyes met his tear filled ones. “Those are my memories. No one else has them or ever will because they weren’t here.” His thumb traced my jaw line. “I love you Havannah and I do trust you. I’ll do anything to prove it.” I smiled.

            “You already have.” I crushed our lips together and he pulled me onto his lap. His fingers knotted my hair while mine ran through his curls. “I love you too Harry.” He smiled and kissed my forehead. We finished the night eating fries and watching Netflix. It was our ‘us time’, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.