Gentle with me | MAX VERSTAPPEN

XXIII

TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THIS CHAPTER: brief mentions of past abuse and major character death (she's brought back to life).

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I let out a sigh as I stared out from the window in the aeroplane. My back ached, the pain coming back now and then to remind me of what I went through. 

If I were going to be honest to myself, I don't think I would ever be able to forget the memories of the scars I am forced to bear. Most of my exes dealt me cards that were useless against theirs and I will never forgive nor forget what they had done towards me. 

Perhaps, forgiveness would have been possible had any of them actually shown remorse and begged for me to forgive them. Alas they never did and instead decided to turn me into the villain of their story. 

I let out a scoff at that. I won't deny that I have my flaws but to be turned into some kind of villain that is incapable of being redeemed? In what kind of world am I living in where they have decided that I am one of the worst monsters to exist on this planet. Mere idiots, all of them.

I stared out of the window as another flashback was brought forward.

Flashback (4 years ago)

"It will be fun, Tatiana!" Casimir exclaimed into my ear. His hand had grabbed my wrist in a hold that I knew would bring bruises the next coming days. Casimir was like that. He loved to see my blood running down my skin, my tears ruining my face, and bruises all over that would always stay for days. 

I winced as he roughly pushed me down into the cart on the roller coaster he had managed to drag me to. My back was screaming in pain and I knew exactly why. It was completely torn up, Casimir's metal whip had ensured that the back of my body would never truly heal. 

I often wondered whenever I was tied to the bench on the edge of passing out if this is the moment where he finally gives into his sadistic curiosity of murder. I should have left him as soon as he tried to force himself on me.

"Casimir, I don't think this will be fun." I muttered, hoping that he wouldn't hear what I just said. He wouldn't act out in public. No never in public, especially since I was a daughter of the House of Castiello and an important public figure. However, in private? Death would be kinder towards me than whatever insane and bloody idea that Jason wanted to put in practice in real life.

"You better find this fun or I swear you will experience my version of fun when we arrive at my place." He whispered into my ear. I remember how I used to find him attractive, how I used to love hearing him whisper in my ear with sweet empty promises that I was too naive to realise that they were just that, empty promises that were whispered out loud to further entrap me in his little honey trap. Now, his mere presence made me want to run and never look back.

His touch left a feeling of disgust and a want of taking a thousand showers. I remember how this day, after we were finished at the amusement park, was the first time I would truly be meeting death. It took me being hospitalised for my family to find out what has been happening for months. It also took me being hospitalised to find out that I still had a purpose in life that I just couldn't accept death just yet.

My parents will later go on and tell me that my heart had flatlined while I was in the recovery room, and I would later go on and tell them that I remember there being light lightning up the darkness I was standing in with Max, Daphne, Isadora, and my parents' voices calling out my name and I also remember the hand stretching out for me to take, leading me towards the light where their voices came from. 

I remember seeing a younger version of Max running away from me, his laughter echoing in the dark while happily yelling for me to run after him.

"Catch me, Tia!" I remember Maxie yelling with joy.

There's little to remember when one is close to death, but the moments of happiness I felt while trying to catch Maxie and following him through the light to later hear a quiet sound from what I will later learn was the heart rate monitor is something I will never forget.

End of flashback

'Maxie, my brother in everything but blood.' I thought to myself as a tear slid down my cheek. I remember his reaction so vividly. He had sobbed in my arms after I had told him what knocking on death's door was like and then having someone trying to pull you back while subtly telling you that your journey is not yet finished and that you still have a purpose to do on earth. 

I haven't yet figured out what that purpose was, but what I had figured out was that Max truly is my lifeline. He will forever be the one that pulled me back from death's arms and brought me back to life.

I wiped away the tears as I looked at the clouds the plane was flying over. It's nine hours left until I land in Incheon and sleeping was something I was not up for especially after having a recent flashback. Therefore, rewatching one of my favourite shows, Teen Wolf, felt like a good thing to make time pass by.