Youtube One-Shots

Breathe

Trigger Warnings: Cancer, existential crisis talk basically, sadness, major character death.

Genre: Sadness, angst

Summary: Phil has cancer and Dan is forced to watch him struggle with his illness.

Word Count: 6733

Phil POV:

I wake up sweating, breathing heavily and unevenly. My stomach aches. There are sharp pains running throughout my whole body. I quickly got up from bed, ignoring my jagged breathing and the pain shooting through my body.

I am in the bathroom, leaning over the toilet. I cough and cough and cough, but nothing happened. I assumed I was just going to throw up, but nothing happened.

Dan is by my side. I can't hear anything. I'm sweating. I can't breathe. It hurts. Dan is saying something, but I can't understand anything. I leaned over the toilet again, coughing and spitting into the bowl. I did this a few times and gasped for my breath.

Dan was looking into the toilet with wide eyes. I followed his gaze. I coughed up blood. I was struggling to catch my breath, and I could feel my time running short. I felt my eyes close and I fell into Dan's arms.

-

I wake up in a different room. My body hurts. I am sore. There are sharp pains in my lungs, like someone is stabbing me every time I take a breath. I sit up and hear beeping and different machines running. Pain shoots through my body and I flinch, but ignored it.

I looked around and saw that I was, indeed, in a hospital. Dan was sitting in the chair next to my bed, asleep. Suddenly, the door opened and a man walked in. I assumed he was a doctor.

"Oh, good, you're up. Anyways, I have a few questions for you and Dan." He said, checking a clipboard. I didn't say anything. It hurt too much to do so.

Dan woke up. He practically launched himself at me. I could tell by his eyes that he had been crying. As soon as he saw the doctor he kept quiet and serious. The doctor launched into questioning then, Dan and I answering as much as we could.

"Okay, Phil, we're going to take you into examination and tests soon, okay? Hang tight, and there is a telephone and nurse call button if needed." He said, leaving the room in a rush.

Examination and tests. How much more serious could this seriously get? It couldn't be that bad. Maybe I'm just in denial. Maybe I'm just getting used to the pain. Who knows?

I can feel Dan grab my hand and I look down at our hands and back up at him. I'm confused. Best friends don't hold each other's hand.

"It's okay." Dan whispered. He was rubbing his thumb on my hand and I've never felt more safe in my life. Dan was just a sense of comfort that I never got used to. He was so warm, so good.

Dan leaned forward and pressed his lips to my cheek. He kept his lips there for a second until he pulled away, leaving my cheek tingling. I felt my face heat up. I nodded and blushed. I still hadn't really said a word, it hurt too much to do so. So I kept quiet.

"Phil? Can you please talk, I'm so worried." Dan whispered, squeezing my hand. I looked down at our hands again and smiled. I bit my lip and looked back up at Dan.

"Not yet," I whispered, my voice hoarse and scratchy from not talking for a few days. Dan's eyes started getting misty and before I could even register what was happening, he was sobbing. I opened up my arms and hugged him close.

"You fucking scared me half to death, Phil. The doctors think it's something bad, you know? Please don't let it be anything bad. Please." It was hard to understand Dan because of how hard he was crying. His voice had also gotten quieter.