Youtube One-Shots

I love you

Trigger Warnings: One mention of suicide

Genre: Fluff

Summary: What is love?

Word Count: 579 (it's short I know)

"I love you,"

Those three words are so powerful among our nation. All of us yearn to hear it from someone other than a family member. Someone who we love, just like we wish for them to love us. I've never really understood love, just read about it in books, or watched movies revolving around it. I've also never felt love, not gut-wrenching, butterflies-in-your-stomach love. Id like to experience it, but to be honest, I'm not sure if I even want to.

Ever hear of that stupid expression, love hurts? Yeah, that's exactly why I don't want love. It's amazing whenever you're in love, but hurts like hell whenever someone breaks your heart like that. There's also many definitions of love as well. I just described one, but there's millions of definitions out there, some of which I don't care to talk about. I will tell you this one though;

Love is whenever you see that person in almost everything that you see yourself. Take those spare shirts on the floor, they may remind you of him/her. Also, that ice cream shop. They might have taken you there on a date, or just for fun. Same with that old bookbag, maybe you put blankets and pillows in there and went out for a picnic. It doesn't matter, just that you see that person in absolutely everything that crosses your eyesight. I think that's love.

I've researched love far too many times, just so that I know if I'm tumbling down into that spiral of emotions. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I completely believe in love either. One part of me wants it to be real, and another part thinks it's only something that somebody thinks they can feel. Just a sheer illusion.

And I love you.

Our life, the way everything is turning out, it's utterly beautiful. In 2009, I never imagined myself even having a life with you. But now, in 2016, everything is turning out perfectly.

I couldn't imagine myself without you.

It seems cheesy, it really does, but it's so true. Without you in my life, I truly don't know who I would be. Without you, I wouldn't be who I am today. For anyone concerned by my ironically self-depreciating sense of humor, I am very happy.

You make me a better person. You make me a happier person. I used to be so sad, remember? I used to hate everything about myself, I used to put myself down so often. But you helped me with that. You helped me make it this far.

I really can't thank you enough. I used to be my only friend, but then you came along. Just, thank you. For everything. You helped me stay alive whenever all I wanted to do was die, and I really thank you for that.

You made me who I am today, and I really am thankful for you. I wouldn't have started YouTube, I wouldn't have been happy, I wouldn't have met you. I wouldn't have met your beautiful blue eyes, your sweet smile, your amazing personality.

Isn't it scary how I could've been dead by now? I would've killed myself, you know. You came along though, and I was okay again.

I love you so very much, Phil. And I really can't thank you enough for the love you've given me.

I hope you love me too.