• BURN ME •

• 3

MANTRA

~ Bring Me The Horizon

Flame

I sit in my car, lost in thought, watching Sophia and that white-haired guy. This guy is really strange, the way he looked at me this morning. Through those long eyelashes and wide eyes, there was something else in those blue irises. His eyes were so empty and dull, as if he was silently begging me to keep going. I could clearly feel his pulse quickening under my fingers. Yet he didn't fight me, he didn't even try. He's handsome, I can't deny that. But just because he has a pretty face doesn't mean he's safe, and he doesn't stop me. Protecting my sister, I won't let anything happen to her. My face twists as Sophia says goodbye to the white-haired guy and walks toward my car. She's angry with me, I can smell it ten miles against the wind. I hate it when she's mad at me when she gets in. She slams the car door and stares at me. I sigh quietly. I start the car as she breaks the silence. "Snow is staying with us this weekend, we have to give a presentation." My jaw tenses and I look up. "No..." I say bluntly. She laughs quietly. "That wasn't a question, Flame. He'll come over. This is my house too, and if I want a friend to come over, he'll come over. I just wanted to tell you beforehand." She crosses her arms like a stubborn child. I click my tongue. "No," I repeat my words, this time a little more seriously and with an undertone that makes it clear that I mean it. Sophia remains silent for a while. "Yes, and you'll behave yourself. How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not our mother? Nothing will happen to me. You won't ruin this friendship for me, do you understand me? I'm fed up with your bullshit, let me have my own life." Her voice gets louder towards the end and echoes slightly in my ears, her words hit me exactly where it hurts. "I just don't want you to make the wrong decisions." I whisper quietly, she laughs dryly, "but that's exactly what you learn from, Flame, when you fall on your ass with something, you have to get back up again. I want to learn that too, why do you always put up such a fight about it?" she asks seriously.

Because I'm damn scared, scared that those bastards who did that to our mother will come back and do the same thing to her. Just like they said back then before they left me to die. I keep quiet and concentrate on the road so that we don't have a damn accident. Sophia doesn't know everything about what happened back then. She doesn't know how bad it was. She laughs quietly, "sure... as soon as the topic no longer suits you, you shut down and wrap yourself in silence. Bravo Flame." I grip the steering wheel with my hands until my knuckles take on a lighter tone. The anger creeps up my gut, it wants to surface. I feel it burning uncomfortably under my skin, like hot fire. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down so that I don't become abusive to her. "Fine, bring your buddy. But don't expect me to be nice." I growl quietly, Sophia looks at me and then turns her head back to the window. I stop the car in front of our house, "get out..." I say. As she gets out, she slams the car door again. I clench my jaw and make my way to the gym. What a shitshow, she just doesn't understand how fucked up this world can be. What sick people there are, she just doesn't understand. That she has a target on her back, thanks to our last name.

Bored, I sit on one of the older lounge chairs in the gym and watch Nacho giving a training session in the boxing ring. Nacho's boxing style reminds me of a dance, even with his size and mass he moves so fast. Fighting against him is damn hard, he moves with so much grace that it's almost laughable for a fighter. But I know that behind every punch there is enough force to break someone's damn jaw. If he really wanted to, Nacho has never been one for big words. He prefers to let his fists do the talking. I shake my head slightly and concentrate again on the boxing ring, where Nacho is currently demonstrating how to land the perfect jab. My gaze jumps to the entrance door when I notice this white shock of hair. The white-haired man enters the gym with one of the Lopez twins. What is he doing here? The brunette at his side looks around anxiously. As if he were surrounded by hungry wolves, and maybe he's not completely off the mark with that assumption. If my father were a cop, I'd be nervous coming here too. My eyes dart back to this Aiden as he and Lopez move toward the boxing ring. He seems to be talking to Nacho, because Nacho is leaning against the elastic bands that mark the boxing ring. They talk for a moment before Aiden and Lopez walk toward the punching bags. The white-haired guy is eyeing them, while the brunette stands next to him with his arms crossed. My eyes glide over Aiden, he's shorter than Lopez. But his arms suggest that he's athletic, my eyes finally land on his round ass. It completely fills the light jeans he's wearing, his ass practically begs to be touched. I shake my head, damn it, pull yourself together, damn it. Nacho comes toward me and holds out a cold can of Coke.