Serpent

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   Charlie finally arrived back from her meeting looking upset. Vaggie rushed to her girlfriend and hugged her tightly. "Charlie! How did it go? Did they listen?" Vaggie asked enthusiastically, smiling up at Charlie. "Oh, they sure did hear it but, um..." Charlie trailed off. "Vaggie, come on!" I called from the main room. "Right! We have something to show you." Vaggie led Charlie over to us. "Velva pulled some strings and it's about to air." Vaggie smiled as she sat Charlie on the couch.

   "I had a friend of mine pull a few limbs, too." I joked. I couldn't help but notice Alastor hold back a laugh. "Wait, you all made a new commercial?" Charlie asked, seeming a bit better. We all nodded eagerly. "You bet we did. One of my better performances if I do say so myself." Angel posed smugly. "That's... amazing." Charlie began to tear up. "Oh, it's starting!" We all turned out attention to the TV. "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel-" Vaggie on TV said. The screen quickly changed to a news report. "What the fuck?!" Vaggie shouted while Angel and Charlie also jeered at the TV while little Niffty giggled and clapped.

   "Breaking news in Hell today! We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next Extermination is happening sooner than ever before." A picture of the extermination countdown shows, showing 183 days instead of the normal 365. "Do you know what that means, Tom?" She asked her co-host, not turning to him. "No, what does that mean, Katie?" His mask moved as he talked. "It means we're all royally fucked! " Katie's eye twitched. "Charlie, what really happened at that meeting?" I turned to her. She seemed hesitant to tell us until she took a deep breath and stood up.

   "Okay, so..." Charlie began talking at an insane speed. "So the leader of the Angel Army turned out to be the Adam, as in first man Adam. He was... really outgoing and he wouldn't listen to anything I was trying to say. He showed me a... somewhat official paper saying that he chose to shorten the extermination date to every 6 months instead of every year!" She laughed maniacally. "So the extermination happens more often now! No big deal! Just a little setback. Nothing we can't handle. Just angels cutting our timetable in half, but who needs a whole year to save souls? Am I right?!" Charlie hyperventilated. I couldn't help but stare at Charlie's panicked state. I could almost see a vein bulging from her head.

   "Hey, hey. It'll be fine. I'm sure there's some way to get through this, Charlie." I rested my hand on her shoulder, trying to keep her as calm as possible. "And we'll all be here to help when we find it." Vaggie added, smiling at Charlie. "Well, while you're lookin' the rest'a Hell's goin' nuts." Angel waved his phone at us, showing us an article about distress in the Doomsday District. "Uh, what is a... Donkey Show?" Charlie asked when a message from Val appeared. "Ah, heh, nothin'." Angel pulled his phone back, looking a bit panicked. "My boss is just freaked out about the news too. Like I said, everyone's losin' their shit." He laughed nervously.

   "Which might make this the perfect chance to recruit sinners to the hotel!" I reasoned. Charlie nodded happily, patting my shoulder while giggling. "That's a perfect idea, Vel!" I laughed from the nickname. "Cute idea, but how do you expect to go out in all this?" Angel showed us a video of a building on fire and demons panicking. "Well, it's not like people are just gonna show up on our doorstep-" Before Charlie could say anything else, a loud explosion blew up the wall. Charlie screamed in fear while everyone else just turned to the sound.

   "Show yourself Alassstor." A giant zeppelin appeared in front of us while a snake demon looked inside, apparently looking for Alastor. Where did Alastor go? "Come and face-" The demon paused before looking up. "Oh, there you are- Face my wrath!" He shouted to Alastor. I ran out through the hole in the wall and saw Alastor drinking out of his 'Oh Deer' mug. "Who are you?" Alastor asked as he dissolved and appeared next to me, catching me by surprise. "Fuck, Alastor! Warn me next time." I nudged his arm. Alastor snuck a side-eye at me and I held my hand over the side of my face so I wouldn't have to meet his obviously pissed expression.

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