Small Town Boy

Chapter 5

Ben, Mateo, and I tossed the football, arguing about the sort of things boys our age argue about. School had finished, and we needed to be back only a few hours later for the game, so we passed the time by hanging out. 

"Miller, what's the inside news about the election?" Mateo asked. 

"What makes you think I know?" I asked rhetorically, tossing the ball the Ben. "You know I try to pay as little attention to that as possible." 

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't have heard anything about it." Ben pointed out. "We all know your Dad isn't exactly quiet about what he thinks." 

"He's campaigning today, I guess," I answered. "He's coming to the watching the game tonight with one of the other legislators. The leader, I think." 

"Oh, that's going to be annoying." Mateo groaned. 

"Parker said the same thing. I usually just try and ignore it. It gives us attention though." I said. 

"Not good attention. Not to be rude, but your dad doesn't exactly have the best track record at saying the right things." Mateo complained. 

"No offense taken." I shrugged. "As I said, I don't really care what he says, it's easier that way." 

"Maybe you should," Mateo questioned. "Like, I'm not saying you should throw away your relationship with him, not at all, but you are going to be associated with him for your whole life. You have friends, like me and Luna, who are members of groups he openly trashes. I wouldn't be your friend because of who your dad is, but I do think you should at least be aware of what he says." 

"I'll think about it." I nodded. I knew some of what he said, probably not all of it, but Mateo and Luna knew I didn't think in the same way as him. That had to count, right? Plus, Parker stood up to them already and had promptly ruined his relationship with them. If when I eventually come out, I'd be on shaky ground, so pushing back on his policies could be disastrous. 

"That's all I asked," Mateo said, chucking the ball over to Ben, who had remained quiet throughout Mateo and my conversation. 

"Thanks, man, you knew where I stand, right, I'm not racist," I assured Mateo. 

"I know you aren't even if you don't necessarily announce it." Mateo sighed. "Do you think he's going to win?" 

"I really don't know," I repeated. "Parker would probably know, he keeps updated on that kind of stuff." 

"Do you even want him to win?" Mateo asked. 

I thought about it carefully. If he won, life would continue as normal, he and Mom would continue to split time between here and Denver, and Parker and I would have our weeks together. If he lost? I didn't really know what would happen. Dad had been a legislator for years. I don't know what he'd do. Mom and he would be around more, which was both good and bad. That was how it would affect me, but I knew that wasn't what Mateo was asking me. If I paid more attention to his conduct, I'd know. What I knew was I disagreed with him on his social policies, but I had no idea what he believed in other areas. 

"I don't know," I admitted.

"The fact his your own father, and you didn't just say yes means something." Ben chimed in. 

"Are you saying you think I want him to lose?" I asked. 

"I'm guessing that most politicians' kids would like to see their parent win, so the fact you aren't says something." He continued. 

"I think Ben might be on to something," Mateo added. "Like, you never really disavow him, but you also never really support him."

"Maybe." I wondered. They were right, in that I wasn't itching for him to win. I'd never knocked on a door for him and hadn't been at a single event in this campaign yet. To be honest, I don't know if I would if he asked me. I was really disinterested, partially because I was a teenager, partially because I didn't really see how it affected me, but maybe, I was realizing, it because I just disagreed with him. It really did seem that way. Parker hated his policies, and on most things, I agree with Parker. Mateo and Luna had both previously expressed their opinions about him, and even Ben, who'd been my friend from before Dad became a legislator, had told me he wouldn't vote for him. I liked these people, I trusted them. Maybe they were right.