The Wrong Mr Bridgerton

Chapter 18

With the wedding preparations on their way. Penelope sat with Anthony on the bench outside her house. Rather later at night.

"You wanted to see me"
"Pen, I need you to be completely honest with me"
Pen looked worried. What question did he possibly want to know.
Anthony looked torn between his feelings. She couldn't help but feel a little anxious.
Pen could almost predict what was coming.
"Does Colin know?"
She looked down at her fingers.
"No.."
"You have not told him?!?" He tried to sound calm. But why hadn't she. If she loves him. This would definitely prove such a thing, secrets are dangerous.
"I don't know how. What if he hates me?"
"Pen, you can't go through life hiding such a burden. Surely he will see your reasons.."
"What about Marina. Do you really think he could ever look at me in the same way again?"
"You have to take that chance, what if he finds out by other means. He might not forgive you. Then he would be really hurt. It has to be you. Only you. That tells him"

He was right. Of course he was right. Pen hated this. Whistledown was all she knew. Her outlet, to escape life. Her family. Duty. Her own mother pays more attention to Whistledown than to her.

Anthony could see her, contemplating her option "Pen. I am your brother. Whatever he feels, I will be there to remind him that everything you did regarding Miss Thompson, was because you cared for his wellbeing. You didn't want him to be lied and tricked to. If you hide this from him. He won't recover so easy"

"I will talk to him. Can you ask him to meet me here tonight"

"Of course"

Anthony gave her a forced smile. He knew how hard this can be. But he couldn't help but want to protect both of them. Is that not what big brothers were supposed to do.

He squeezed her hand, almost maternally. It surprised Pen. Mostly because her own mother wouldn't even pretend to show some sort of affection, and here Viscount Anthony Bridgerton sat, giving advice that should be the duty of a parent. She couldn't help loving him even more for it. Even though it meant that now she had to confront the one thing that may ruin her life. Her dreams. The one thing that made her unique and special.

The clock chimed for 9 o'clock.

Pens hands were sweaty. Wiping her palms down her dress, didn't help in the slightest.
She wore her hair loose and her dress was rather plain considering all the gowns she was recently donning. Would he hate her?

Her maid knocked on her door.

"You have a visitor, Miss"

Penelope nodded and followed the maid to the bench.

Colin's eyes grew wide when he saw her.

She was so beautiful, she wasn't wearing much makeup and her hair wasn't in a fancy up-do. Yet, there she stood. Taking his breath away with every step.

Although he didn't know what her expression meant. She looked sad, almost teary.

"Colin"
His lips whispered her name as he stepped closer.

"We have to talk"

Colin could feel a ball in his throat, he was trying to swallow down. What had happened. Had her mother denied the wedding.
They both sat.
Pen reached for his hand.

"Before I explain, I have to inform you that everything I did. Was for your best interest"

He nodded. What the hell did that mean.
How to find the words.
She took a deep breath. Colin's breathing started to tremble

"It's me Colin"

"What's you?"

Pen looked deep in his eyes.