Scout: Devil's Rose #11

Chapter 5: Violet Monroe

Major's fucking handsome.

His black hair falls right below his ears, his ivory skin well taken care of and his light blue eyes striking. A sharp jawline and nose send me into a spiral, my eyes drifting along his muscular arms to his large hands.

He's not exactly clean-shaven, but he only has the beginnings of a beard growing in, as if he shaved it days ago. His smile is kind as I go to sit beside him on the bench, his warmth radiating to warm my skin, unnecessarily so in the Texas heat.

I hope he doesn't know that I'm completely drooling over him.

We stare out at the field together, our shoulders pressed together due to the size of the bench not entirely accommodating the size of Major.

"I understand why you chose to talk here," he begins, as if he knew that I'm not ready to dive straight into the traumatic incident.

"There are many beautiful spots in Westmoor, but this is my favorite one."

"Do you come here a lot with your friends?"

"Not really. Harper has a bunch of allergies and shit, so she's not a nature person. And Clara has a fear of nature."

"A fear of nature?"

"Yes. This woman is scared of nature. She hates bugs, tall grass, trees, forests, and any body of water. She's worried she's gonna die at every turn."

Major chuckles beside me, taking a quick glance at me - where I haven't taken my eyes off of him - and I see the start of a blush on his face. That only makes my heart race more.

I know that I'm not here to hook up with this guy. I know that I probably should be focusing on anything besides how handsome he is. I also know that I know nothing about this man.

I shouldn't be crushing on him at all. I'm not in high school, and I most certainly don't need to develop feelings for someone who is trying to find the man who practically kidnapped me.

He isn't looking for anything more than information right now.

"Do you want to start getting into what happened?" I ask, not wanting to waste more of his time.

"If you're ready. I'm not going to push you."

I take a deep breath, pressing my hands into my thighs.

His fingers flinch, almost involuntarily, like his body is reacting to my stress without him having to think about it.

"Kai had been dating Harper for around three months, so me and Clara had gotten to a stage where we felt comfortable with him. So, there was one night when we all went clubbing in downtown Grove Heights, which is a normal thing for us.

"Harper got a call from her mom, so she needed to step out of the club. Clara went with her because Harper didn't want to go out by herself. I was with Kai, so I felt okay with them being gone."

Major hasn't taken his eyes off of me once. He's watching my body language, making sure that I feel okay telling the story. I honestly feel more relieved than anything.

I have been holding this story in for what feels to be a month and a half when it's only been a week. The words have been brewing inside me, but I just haven't been able to get them out to anyone.

I know Harper and Clara would fully support me in whatever I needed, but I also know that they couldn't actually do anything. As much as I love them, and I also know that they would do everything that they could for me, they don't have as much influence as Major does.

He's been actively searching for a way to do something, and I'm giving him the needed information to do that. To make a real difference, to maybe save other women that Kai might be targeting.

And while Harper and Clara would provide all the love and support and cuddles and girls' nights necessary, Major could provide me and other women with justice.

So, yes, I'm uncomfortable. It's not an easy story to tell, but it's a needed one.

"I went to the bar with him to get some water. I needed to sober up a little. We were just chatting, and Harper and Clara hadn't come back in a while, so I was getting worried.

"I asked him if we could go outside and find them. We did, and I felt okay turning around to go back into the club, but he started pulling me away from the club. I couldn't fight back. He's not a small guy, and I was tipsy."

I feel some tears brew in my eyes, a deep hurt settling into my chest.

Why couldn't I protect myself? I know self-defense, but I felt so fucking hopeless. I just let him do it. I just let him hurt me. I watched my friends go back into the club, thinking we were still in there.

I could have screamed or tried punching him at least, and I didn't. I let him pull me away. And I don't know why. I don't understand why I let him do that to me. I've dealt with crazy people before, but this was so much different. It was like I was so scared I couldn't do anything.

I'm so angry at myself for letting that happen to me. While it was his choice to do that to me, to hurt me like that, I could have fought back. Even tipsy, I could have tried. I did nothing to help myself.

It's like I wanted to go with him, wanted to put myself in a bad situation.

Part of me thinks that I did want it. As a child growing up in Hollywood with famous parents, every time I left the house I knew that something could happen.

Not that anyone was purposefully going to hurt me, but there's always a chance that someone could want to hurt me to try to get something (most likely money) from my parents. I had security guards of my own, and I always had to watch my back.

I think there's something in me that craves that. My body and brain crave the high that I get, the adrenaline rush I get, from being on high alert.

I shouldn't have been that desperate for a high, and I'm not sure it even was that, but I just can't seem to figure out my fucking problem.

A warm hand is placed on my upper arm, a grounding presence.

"Are you okay?" Major asks me delicately, pulling me back into this moment.

I breathe, nodding my head at him as I gain control of my thoughts. Sometimes they run free when they shouldn't.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I just got lost for a second."

"I know this is tough. Talking about my past is tough for me too, and what Kai did affects so much of your life. If you want to stop for today, that's okay. We can meet up tomorrow or something," he assures, relaxing me even more.

"No, it's alright, I promise," I state, "I can handle it."

"Only if you're sure."

"I'm sure."

Major nods his head, going back to a casual sitting position.

I see a gun sitting in a holster on his side, but I don't feel scared. I'm sure with pretty much any other person, I would feel a bit unsettled knowing that they have a gun, but it's different with Major.

It's literally related to his job. It has nothing to do with me and the conversation we're having now.

"Is it making you uncomfortable?" he speaks up.

"What is?"

"My gun. You're staring at it."

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, I feel like I should be more uncomfortable. I know that you are only going to use it as a defensive measure than an offensive one right now, and that makes me feel protected, not uncomfortable."

"I want you to know something, Violet."

"What?"

"If you ever don't want to see it, I'll hide it from you. I can't guarantee that I'll get rid of it, but it won't be in your sight."

And that's the last we speak of the gun.