Scout: Devil's Rose #11

Chapter 15: Major Owens

"You're okay. I promise. Nothing's gonna hurt you, love," I try and reassure Violet.

"I'm so sorry," she whimpers before bursting out into tears.

She falls into my chest, bawling. I take a deep breath and cradle her to me, unsure of what else to do. Poison gives me random hand signals that aren't ASL or I would have understood what he was saying.

Instead, I roll my eyes at him and go back to paying attention to Violet who can't seem to stop crying. I'm not entirely sure what she's crying about.

Maybe because she's embarrassed she had a panic attack or because she's overwhelmed by her feelings or both of those things, I honestly don't know.

I don't think there's anything for her to be embarrassed about, her reaction to going through this is totally normal. It would be odd if she didn't feel distressed by being back here and dealing with the trauma she has.

None of us are mad that she's having this type of reaction, we all expected it. As people who have gone through our own trauma, we understand what it's like to deal with shit like this.

I just need her to communicate with me about what's going on, and her sobbing into my chest isn't exactly the communication that I'm looking for. It's telling me something, but I don't know what the specific cause is.

"You've got to tell me what's going on. I'm trying to understand, but I don't know what you're crying for," I speak to Violet softly, hoping for a real response.

She takes a few heavy and shaky breaths, pressing herself off of me.

"I didn't mean to invade your space."

"Is that why you're crying and apologizing?" I question, my head tilting naturally.

"Well, yeah, that and just everything else going on."

"Besides Kai, what else is happening? What are you feeling?"

"I feel like I'm not allowing you guys to do your jobs. I keep going back and forth in my head that I'm not hindering you, but then something happens and you have to take care of me, and then I feel like I shouldn't be here."

I brush my fingers through her black hair, hoping to relax her.

"You wouldn't be here if we couldn't handle all the emotion that might be brought up through the process of dealing with it, love."

"Poison said that too," she admits.

"Poison's right-" I hear him whisper, 'everyone should listen to me more,' but I choose to ignore it "- We all know what revisiting places of harm can do. We knew this from the moment you wanted to be here.

"We told you that you could come with us because we can handle it, because it wouldn't be dangerous, and because we have many of us here who can all get this job done."

"I just," Violet starts, "I don't want to get in the way because people are really getting hurt even now. And if I can do anything to protect more people, I will."

"That's our job, Violet. You don't owe them anything."

"But I do, Scout! I didn't say anything earlier. Maybe if I did, you would have caught him earlier. Maybe fewer people would be hurt," she grits out.

"What Kai is doing is not on your shoulders. He chooses to hurt people. He chooses to do shitty things. You have no control over that. And it's not your responsibility alone to catch this guy. I'm sure that I missed shit before that could've gotten him caught earlier, but here we are, Violet.