Scout: Devil's Rose #11

Chapter 14: Violet Monroe

"They know what they're doing, Violet," Poison assures me confidently.

"As much as I know that, I'm also still nervous," I admit, drawing flowers over the front page of the MadLibs pad.

"Are you nervous that Scout's going to get hurt, that you're gonna get hurt, what?"

"I don't think either one of us will be hurt. It's more about me freaking out when I go inside. I know that you guys have a job to do, and although I want to be involved, now that I'm here, I also don't want to get in your way."

Poison pauses for a moment.

"Can I be honest with you about something?"

"Sure, I guess..." I respond hesitantly.

"If you were really going to get in the way, you would have never been in the car. You wouldn't have even left the computer room. The reason you are here is that we are confident that we all can handle getting the information we need and supporting you in facing any emotions that being here might bring up. It's why there are four of us and not just you and Scout."

That eased a lot of the guilt that I felt for being here.

I mean, yes, I definitely want to be involved. But I don't want my being here to affect Scout's ability to do the job he needs to do. This is more than me facing a man who hurt me in the past.

This is about protecting people from him right now. We know he isn't far away, but he's gone under the radar for so long that he could be hurting people.

I know that sometimes my wants can get in the way of what really needs to happen. With this certain circumstance, that's not okay at all, and I need to take a step back if that's what the Devil's Rose needs to catch Kai.

Before I can even begin to form a reply, there is a crinkling sound over the Walkie Talkie.

"You two are clear to come in," Major states.

Relief fills my chest at his voice, glad that nothing happened to him. We didn't even hear gunshots or anything, so Kai must not have been there. I'm sort of disappointed in that.

We weren't expecting him to be there, but that would have made this so much easier. Poison and I get out of the car, and while we both still have our bulletproof vests and Poison has his weapons, we don't feel as worried about walking into a defended place.

I walk next to Poison and let his protective force shield me away from any negative thoughts.

He's absolutely right. I know that they wouldn't have asked me to go into the apartment if they knew I would be in the way.

If it was necessary, they wouldn't care about my feelings more than getting the information to protect other people. We are all on the same page about that.

The door to the building is already open when Poison and I get to it. I step inside first and memories rush back to me. I remember how cold and empty it was in here. He had a bed, a couch, trash, and other furnishings but no pictures or anything personal.

Just as they do know, my footsteps echoed throughout the cement space. What I don't remember is the dead rats, dirt, and how gross it has gotten. It at least still looked like somewhat of a home when I was forced to be here.

Now, no one is living here. No one has been here in a while.

Major comes up next to me and lays a comforting hand on the small of my back. Poison steps away from me and goes toward where the other two men are, starting to converse with them probably something related to what they've discovered so far.

Together, Major brings me to the evidence that he, Slasher, and Bullet collected.

I push away the anxiety and panic as I look through Kai's belongings. Nothing so far has stood out to me, and I can't help but feel slightly useless.

I want to find something for them. I don't want this to be a waste of time.

I don't say anything as I move around Kai's space. I can feel Major's presence close behind me, but he doesn't say anything to me either.

The closer I get to Kai's bed, the faster my heart goes. My body tenses, tears coming to my eyes, but I don't stop myself.

"Violet, be careful with yourself," Major demands, noticing the panic rising through my body.

He's right, but I ignore him. I have to do this. What happened to me has to mean something. I have to do right by the people who got hurt after me. I have to do this for them.

Major gives me space, not wanting to trigger any more panic within me, as I stand in front of the bed. It looks much different. There are holes and rips in the mattress. The sheets that haven't rotted away are covered in dirt and mold.

I remember clearly what happened to me. I know exactly what Kai did to me. And while I still feel that anxiety coursing through me, this place looks so much different that the feelings aren't what I thought they would be.

I know I'm not alone here, and I know that I can handle this. No one is going to hurt me, not anymore.

I walk around the bed and pull out the drawer from underneath. It's empty, either from Kai emptying it or one of the official members I've got with me.

But just as I'm about to close the drawer, I notice a white piece of paper sticking out from the back corner. I reach inside the drawer and pull the piece of paper out. Major comes to stand next to me, beaming with pride.

"Good work, love."

We stare down at the paper that sits in between my fingers.

It's a bunch of shapes in a row with spaces after a random set of them. There are no commas or anything as if it were a grammatical sentence. Not that many people write code with the right grammar.

I wouldn't exactly know though because this is my first time ever seeing a code written down. For the shapes, sometimes there are two of them, and other times, there's more than that.

There's no pattern, except there are some repeated shapes.

With my permission, Major takes it from my hands and brings it to the other three men who are searching through more of Kai's stuff, mostly trash that has just been sitting here.

They are just as confused as Major and me when they see it. We put it in the pile with the other things that might be helpful and continue searching. After about another thirty minutes, we call it, believing that we've gathered as much as we can possibly get from this place.

I'm getting tired and the adrenaline of being in there is starting to wear off. And along with that comes the real feelings that I was pushing down. Absolute fucking terror.

My face breaks out in sweat, my hands trembling.

"Violet, are you okay?" Bullet asks, getting Major's attention more than mine.

There is a sharp ringing in my ears, and I cover them instinctively, but that doesn't help with anything. I bite down on my lower lip, soon enough tasting blood. I can feel someone's hands on me, steadying me, but I have no idea who it is or where I am.

"You have to breathe, baby. Come on, breathe. It's okay, I've got you. You're safe. I'm right here. Breathe, love, breathe for me."

I feel a warm chest under my hand and the rhythm of breaths going in and out. Focusing on that, I force myself to follow the same rhythm, using it as a grounding source.

I've never felt something like that before. I've never been so out of control in my own body before (without an outside influence). It takes me about five minutes, I think, to feel completely settled.

My vision is blurry as I open my eyes again. I find myself sitting in Major's lap, facing him, one of my hands pressing into his chest.

Oh my fucking god.