Scout: Devil's Rose #11

Chapter 8: Major Owens

"My heart is racing," Violet admits to me as we huddle together over our new books at a table outside the bookstore.

We didn't buy Invisible Cities or The Midnight Library. Instead, we searched for about thirty minutes before landing on two other books that we wanted to read.

"Why? You know me," I mumble, barely able to concentrate.

"I don't know. But, change of subject, I found the pictures of Kai's apartment in my car-" she pulls them out of her tote bag "-it wouldn't hurt to look at them now, right?"

"No, not at all," I announce, getting the message that she wants to move on from her feelings.

She sets them carefully on the table, her body so close to mine that we're almost touching.

"You're better at searching for clues and shit I'm sure," Violet whispers, pushing them to me.

"I'm literally Sherlock Holmes when it comes to this," I tease as I try to make her laugh but that doesn't help ease any tension in her body.

I look through the photos but nothing really stands out to me.

"What kind of apartment building did Kai live in? Is this a place that would be cleaned out right away?"

"Not sure. It looked like he lived in an abandoned building, It was like he was squatting. Like I said, I can't believe that Harper stayed over there. It was dingy and gross."

"His stuff might still be there then? We don't know if he was squatting or not, and if he was and the place was abandoned..."

"Everything would still be there," Violet breathes out.

I nod my head, so we have an understanding that we were thinking the same thing.

"I don't know if I'm prepared to go back there," she acknowledges, glancing up at me with her glistening hazel eyes.

I lay a gentle hand on her hand that rests on the table.

"I'm not asking you to go."

"But I want to, Scout."

"Violet, don't pressure yourself to do something you aren't ready for. I understand you want to help, but it's not worth it if you're going to hurt yourself."

Her smile is soft, but I can tell going means a lot to her. I think revisiting moments of trauma and hurt can be good if it's something that an individual is prepared for. Violet's initial response of "I don't know if I'm prepared to go back there" explicitly tells me that it's not the time.

And while I wish I wait until it was the right time, I don't have time for that. I need to find this guy as soon as possible. He could be hurting people, and if there's any chance I can get him sooner than later, I'm going to. I have to do that.

The last thing I need is to wait more.

It's not as if I don't care, sympathize, and recognize that Violet wants to be part of this, but maybe it's better if she's not part of everything. She can't help in other ways, she already has.

It doesn't mean that she needs to put herself in more danger, not just physically but mentally and emotionally. Her being involved doesn't overpower the harm she could be doing to herself.

I'm not sure I have a chance of stopping her from doing what she wants to do, but it's not worth it to me. Especially when I have other options for people who will go with me. If anything, they'll have to go anyway because I don't know about her weaponry skills.