BL ONESHOTS NO.4

⁴⁰²⁰😭San x Ray

< could make you cry, so I'm.sorry in advance >

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Today was going to be hard for Ray.

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Ray - ( he writes) - I wish today never happened because you're gone and now I don't know what to do without you. I don't know how to spend the rest of my life without you. You changed me for the good and I changed to be good for you, I can't imagine my life without you and I can't believe that I have to now. I don't want to do this this way, you were still young and wild and free and now you are too young and no longer here to be mine until the day we both die but you're already gone and I'm here living and breathing without you. I hate that now you're gone, but my love, San baby, I love you and one day we will reunite again, but right now I have to figure out how to live without you. Please wait for me and I will be there someday to hold you and kiss you like we always did with each other.

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Ray finished writing down what he wanted to and as he walked up the aisle towards his love who was in his coffin, Ray cried not being able to hold himself up, his best friend Mew walked to him knowing that this was one of the hardest things he had to do. Mew walked with him to the front where he saw his love lying in his coffin, wearing a beautiful black tux, also wearing the neckless Ray had given him. Ray got to him, looked at him, and cried more not knowing that this was the last time he would see his boyfriend, he didn't know what else to do but just cry and fall and not being able to leave him, Ray got up off the ground with the help of Mew and he finally put the letter he wrote in the cold pale hands of his love. Ray stood holding San's hand in his crying until he couldn't hear or see anything else.

Ray - I want you back, please.....baby.

Everything from there went like any funeral.

Everyone had a chance to say goodbye to San one last time and it wasn't all that easy because each person that went up gave their love and regard towards Ray who cried each time and Mew stayed with him the whole way through, San's mother was there and all his relatives, Ray, and the gang were there too to pay their respect to San's relatives and his mother but to be there for Ray as much as he needed them. The gang knew that this wasn't going to be easy for Ray but they made sure that he wasn't ever alone.

Once it was time to cover the coffin with the lid, Ray had to be pulled back by Mew for them to be able to do so.

Ray - I don't want him to go, please stop them from doing this, please stop him.

Mew - Ray, we can't do anything from here, he has to go now and so do we. Come on, we have one more stop to say our last goodbye. Come on.

So Ray and San's mother rode in with San and the rest followed behind to get to the cemetery where San would be laid. As they got there, Ray and the gang were able to carry him up to the given spot where he would be placed, and as they reached the top a song had been sung through it all.

After everything was said and done everyone watched San being slowly lowered down into the hole, once San was placed down softly, everyone was able to throw in a rose of their choice as one last goodbye.

After a while, some of the family members were able to cover him up officially burying San who was now six feet deep.

Some people stayed for a bit but there was lunch served so everyone who came was able to eat and laugh and just talk about memories of San.

Mew and the gang stayed at the cemetery with Ray because he wasn't ready to leave.

Ray sat there for so long that lunch was now over, the sky was now pitch black and the guys still stayed with Ray. They knew that now wasn't the time to let him stay alone.

1 hour goes by.

2 hours...

3 hours...

4 hours.....

5 hours go by and Ray is still there, Mew tells the gang to head home and so he stays with Ray, when he approaches Ray, he has puffy eyes, a runny nose and he is surely cold, Mew remembers to bring a hoodie and he made sure it was San's as he knew it would help Ray a little bit.

Mew - Here put this on please, we can stay as long as you need but it's best if we get to a place warm so you don't get sick. We can come back tomorrow, okay?

Ray stands up from San's grave and instantly cries again. Mew catches him as he sees that Ray is about to drop, they head to the car and Mew heads to Ray and San's home, a place he didn't know if Ray wanted to go but he was out of that and in the house within seconds. Mew chose to stay with Ray.

Over the course of 6 months, Ray didn't eat, didn't go out, didn't meet anyone, he stayed home in his bed he shared with San and cried every single day, most days Mew was able to get food in him but most of the time Ray didn't want anything.

Thus went on and on until one day, Ray walked out of his room wearing San's hoodie and pants and sat his ass on the couch, he didn't say a word but he knew that the gang was there. He just sat there and watched the show.

Ray knew that he had to be okay for himself and his friends but he also knew that San was still watching over him.

After another 6 months went by, it had already been a year now since San's been gone and little by little the gang saw that Ray was somewhat okay.

The first time they left him by himself was exactly a year and 6 months since they said goodbye to San and today was yet another heartbreaking day.

Ray - I'm coming to you.

Ray jumped off a 20-foot building and died on impact, he had enough.

When the gang found out what happened to Ray they all had no idea that he was going to do this but it happened. When Mew went to confirm the body that it was him, the M.E gave him a letter they found on his body which made this suicide.

Ray - (he writes to the gang) This was coming and everyone knew it was, please don't blame yourselves for what I chose to do, this was me knowing that I couldn't be happy any longer without San, so I followed him. I have been wanting to do this for over the course of a year and I happen to be alone today, so I'm sorry for this and for how you find out but please don't ever blame yourselves for my doing. I love you all and for waht you had done for me over the course of 1 year and 6 months but I need to be with my love and this was the only way. I'm sorry, but please just live on and be happy. I'm happy now. I'm no longer in pain.

Mew read this to the gang and each one of them cried because now it was 2 down.

Ray and San were reunited six feet deep and San's mother chose to put Ray with her son as that was what she knew Ray wanted.

The gang and everyone moved on with their lives but one in a while, the gang came to there grave and hung out together like old times, laughing and talking and sometimes they would just come up here to see them just to cry with each other.

< one sad ending and again I'm sorry if I made you cry, if it helps, I cried through this entire story >

[No.165. Sorry for the tears. Bye now.]