Hazbin Hotel (SWAP AU)

Masquerade

[The scene opens with Vaggie waking up in a dimly lit room, tied up to a chair. She tries to budge free, but fails. Her captor paces around her.]

Captor: Finally awake, Vagatha.

Vaggie glowers, but eventually regains her confident smile.]

Vaggie: Yeah, and what's it to ya?

[Captor holds a knife against Vaggie's face.]

Captor: I want you to tell me where your boss stashes his vault.

Vaggie: [laughs, unbothered] It's hilarious you think I'd tell you anything.

[The captor grabs Vaggie off the ground by the neck.]

Captor: Fine. I guess I'll just have to fuck the information outta ya.

Vaggie: [Stares defiantly] Do your worst. [Breaks into a seductive smile.] Mami~

[The captor rips his shirt open and engages in sexual intercourse with Vaggie, revealing this is a porn film played on the hotel's TV.]

Vaggie: [On TV.] ...Ohhhh, yeahhh, baby!

[Cuts to Miss Cherri and Alastor watching creeped out, Angel annoyed, and Husk rather interested.]

Vaggie: You know, this performance won me a 'Sex-x-xi' award!

Alastor: It's, uh... very... honest?... Oh. [He turns away, nauseous. He tries to shield hIs eyes with his right hand.]

Angel Dust: Ew!

[Alastor peeks from his fingers back at the TV screen, before turning his head away to avoid watching, with his hand covering his mouth this time.]

Vaggie: [On TV.] Oh, mas duro, mami!~

Angel Dust: Okay! Enough of that.

[Angel Dust tries to help Alastor by covering the side of his face with his own hand so he doesn't have to see the TV screen. He turns his head to Vaggie with a disapproving and unamused stare.]

Angel Dust: Vaggie, what the fuck?

Vaggie: What?! You said was "Show n' Tell" day. I'm showin' you my best film, and I'm tellin' you that it scored me a win over that bitch, Tiffany Titfucker.

[Niffty is seen cleaning and wiping a wine glass.]

Niffty: Ya know, not a very convincing interrogation scene.

Vaggie: [laughs, angry] Alright, dickhead. What makes you think you have any right to insult my work to my fuckin' face?

Niffty: You really gonna sit there and act like these scripts ain't hot garbage?

Vaggie: [Gasps] Fuck you. This is classy art! [Gestures with two hands at the TV screen.]

Vaggie: [On TV.] OH! FUUUCK!!

[Co-star slaps Vaggie's butt and bites it. Miss Cherri covers her eye when she sees this, while Husk lies on his stomach on the table with smile, kicking his legs back and forth as he continues watching.]

Niffty: That's bullshit. You get drunk and bitch about them all the time. Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about you and these motherfuckers at this point. [Gestures to Miss Cherri] That one. That one is an insecure buffoon whose lonely ass watches you idiots sleep! [To Alastor] The Radio Demon, is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everybody else's problems 'cept his own.

Alastor: What?! No, I-- what? Pffff, no, no. [Angel just stares at him silently.]

Niffty: [to Angel] This one. [He turns his attention away from Alastor and scowls at Niffty, growling under his breath.] Judges everyone and everything because he hates himself.