Hazbin Hotel (SWAP AU)

Hello Rosie!

[The episode begins with Vaggie, Husk, Charlie, Angel Dust, Miss Cherri and Niffty all sitting in the hotel's lounge.]

Husk: So, like where are your wings?

Angel Dust: Husker, I don't have--

Vaggie: Did you ever think maybe he's sensitive about his lack of wings, just like his lack of cock?

[Husk tries to tug at Angel's pants, but Angel push Husk away from him]

Husk: Yeah. Where is your dick?

Angel Dust: (Sighs) Any other questions?

Niffty: I got one. How come every time Alastor talks to Heaven we get in deeper and deeper shit?

Angel Dust: It's not his fault. Angels are just--

Vaggie: Liars?

Angel Dust: ...Difficult. But Alastor's trying his best.

Niffty: Yeah, well, his best is turning out real well so far.

Vaggie: And where is mister fearless leader anyway? Isn't it about time for another "doomed-to-fail" plan?

Angel Dust: He's upstairs. Coming up with something, I'm sure, in our room. Alone.

Charlie: Hmm.

[Charlie vanishes into black smoke. The scene changes showing Alastor in his bed under his covers softly crying. While Voodoo demons comfort him with Tissues. Charlie reappears in his room and approaches his bedside.]

Charlie: Oh, Alastor, you look an absolute mess.

Alastor: Ugh, go away, Charlotte.

[Charlie sits down on his bed while Alastor hides again under the covers]

Charlie: Now, now is that any way to act after picking a fight with all of Heaven and dooming everyone you love?

[Alastor emerges from the covers]

Alastor: I have enough on my mind without hearing your sadistic idea of a joke, asshole.

[Alastor wraps himself under the covers again, only for Charlie to appear laying beside him.]

Charlie: Who's joking?

[Alastor scared, jumps and falls off of the bed.]

Charlie: You have a captive audience downstairs waiting to hear what kind of inspiring performance you have planned next.

Alastor: Ugh, I can't. How can I face them after failing them all so hard?

[Charlie repositions herself on her stomach and begins kicking her legs in the air.]

Alastor: They came here to be saved and all I gave them was more pain. (Tearing up) I'm just as bad as the cruelest Princess of Hell. And maybe worse.

[Alastor stands and paces back and forth.]

Alastor: At least they don't go around giving false hope.

Charlie: Well, I never expected to see such a miserable display of self-loathing from you.

Alastor: Oh, fuck you, Charlotte!

[Charlie adjusts herself, now laying on her side]

Alastor: All you do is stand there, smiling while you watch us struggle and fail. I don't know how you can enjoy all this suffering so much...

[Charlie stands up, wraps her fingers on Alastor's shoulder while chuckling]

Charlie: *Chuckles* Just because you see a smile don't think you know what's going on underneath.