Hazbin Hotel (SWAP AU)

The Show Must Go On

[The episode opens in Velvette's surveillance room, as overlapping videos from various cameras stationed around the Hazbin Hotel play on the screens stationed around her. Velvette herself is sitting in her office chair, watching them all while drinking from her mug]

Velvette: No fucking way! They're going to fight? Oh, my god. Hahahaha! Oh, looks like your little hotel didn't work out so well. *watches a screen with Charlie on it, which glitches slightly* Oh, Charlotte, I cannot wait to watch you get FUCKED! Ahahahaha!

[Velvette laughs maniacally as the camera pans away from her chair and screens]

[The scene changes to show the cannibals all gathered outside the hotel, practising with their weapons. As Alastor watches them all from the hotel's entrance, Angel comes up to him]

Alastor: (Sighs) Oh, I wish Lucifer was here to see this.

Angel Dust: The cannibals seem ready to fight. Are we?

[Miss Cherri bursts out of the hotel's doors, wearing a red Australian army uniform and looking proud of herself]

Miss Cherri: Fear not, damsels. I shall have the staff ready for victorious combat!

Angel Dust: What in the hell are you supposed to be?

Miss Cherri: *salutes* General Cherri, reporting for duty. I'll turn those rapscallions into soldiers in no time at all! Although... I actually bought this in a store... hehe

Alastor: Thank you, Cherri.

[Husk, running around the hotel's entrance, now runs up to Pentious]

Husk: What can I do to help?

Miss Cherri: I'm glad, you asked, soldier. The base needs fortifications. Reinforce the southern wall! Create a moat around the perimeter to stop a ground assault.

[Husk blinks up at Cherri, having no idea what she just said]

Alastor: How about this. If you see an angel, stab it! *hands Husk a small blade*

[Husk looks at Angel Dust, and, thinking that Angel Dust is what Alastor meant, he tries to stab him]

Husk: Stab! Stab! Stab!

Angel Dust: Hey, hey, hey, hey! *he walks away from Husk*

Alastor: Not him!

[Husk runs off to find other things to stab]

Angel Dust: *drill sergeant style* Listen up, sinners! We've got 24 hours before the Extermination begins. Let's get to work.

[As the cannibals and the hotel's residents begin training to fight, Velvette continues to watch them all train from her surveillance room]

Velvette: Oh, they suck. Oh, they suck so bad! Oh, God. They're gonna fucking die! They're- they're gonna die.

[Back at the hotel, Alastor is holding his microphone, preparing to give a speech to the cannibals and the hotel's residents]

Alastor: Hello? *taps microphone* I want to thank everyone for coming. Even people who aren't staying here yet...Pentious.

Pentious: Look, I can't ressssist a fight, okay? Especially when I get to tag team with thissss fuckhead. *wraps arm around Vaggie, who smiles*

Alastor: Tomorrow, the Exorcist Angels will face a Hell ready to defend itself and win!

Angel Dust: Yeah! Yeah, we will! Tell 'em, baby!

Alastor: Yes! And we are-we are going to win! But in case we don't, I want you all to know... that getting to know you has been the biggest honor of my life. Whatever redemption really means, I know you all tried. I have seen the good in all of you. And it's...I-I'm just...I love you all, so much, and-and live tonight however you want because-