Book of Complete Randomness

4 June 2024

"im tired"

A thing I wrote
Whether it's reality or fiction, it's up to your guess
For the ones in gc, it's pretty easy to guess
Don't laugh.
Please.

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Recently, there has been an empty void inside her heart.
She neither knows how long it's been there, nor how it formed.
She has perfect parents.
Perfect friends.
Fun classmate.
Decent teachers.
So why is she feeling that way?

She has a decently healthy 8 hours of sleep.
Why is she still tired?
She wakes up exhausted and cannot go back to sleep.
She is trying to keep her eyes open.

She doesn't want to be a prefect.
She hopes she fails her trial period.
They just stand there and get scolded by seniors.
Seniors always find a thing to scold about.
She hopes she fails.
She hopes to be a normal student for just one year.

Band is tiring.
She no longer has that burning passion for band.
She feels that band is tiring nowadays.
And the worst part is that she can't back out.
She can't catch up
The notes on the sheet that she used to recognize
Became a pile of dots she couldn't decipher.

She doesn't know why she goes to choir.
It's tiring.
She memorizes every step, every lyric.
Why does she even do that?
How she wishes to tell her past self that joining choir is a bad decision.

She wants to close her eyes.
She wants to close her eyes for just a moment.
She wants to close her eyes and not worry about anything.
She wants to close her eyes and not think of the worst case scenarios over and over again.

She just want a moment of peace.
She thought what she wanted is very simple.
Turns out it's not.

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idk if I should even post this tbh