I'm sorry that I love you

Chapter 5

It had been about an hour since Charlotte had spoken to Mia, and although the party had kept her mood light, the thoughts of Mia were weighing it down significantly. It's not that she hated her, she just knew she was a bad person. She had hurt her friends so many times. She should hate her.

She would sigh as she leaned against the wall with Winter by her side. Out of everyone, Charlotte and Winter are the most outcast. Not because nobody liked them, or because they didn't speak much. They were just.. Insignificant. But they were content with that.
Charlotte would look out into the crowd as she took a sip of her lemonade, watching everyone get along and have fun. She liked being able to see people enjoy the little things in life, because she knew everyone had their struggles. That nothing was as simple as some made it out to be. People were human, and it was something she thought about regularly. As she looked around, she would catch a glimpse of that familiar red hair. Mia. As usual, she stood out like a light in the darkness. From afar, she looked just like everyone else – happy, social, bold, confident, glad to be here and just living life to the fullest. It was such a contrast to when Charlotte spoke with her, because when she did, Mia's demeanour was totally different. She seemed more.. distant. Like she had this giant ego, but deep down, you could feel the cold and the emotion that was settled inside her. You could feel the cruelty.

"Charlotte, I must say you are being very quiet tonight. Anything on your mind?"

She would look to her side towards Winter, her mind coming back into focus. She would take another sip of her lemonade, unsure of what he had said. She had been spacing out quite a bit recently. "Sorry.. Wh– What did you say?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, of course. Just tired, I guess." She would smile softly at him before her eyes darted back to where Mia was, but she was gone, and her smile would falter ever so slightly without her even realising. She didn't know why she was so hung about her, they had only spoken twice. They were barely even acquaintances. Just.. strangers, and it didn't mean anything. "I'm probably just gonna go home. I'll see you on monday."

"Oh, alright. Be safe."

"Thanks." Charlotte would make her way out of the building, discarding her cup on the way. She hadn't really thought of how she was going to get home. She had gotten a ride here with Saoirse and her older friend, and it's not like she could navigate her way home. They were down some sketchy road. It was at least 1.7 miles from town, which wasn't the farthest thing ever, but Charlotte didn't fancy going all that way in the dark all alone.

She would make it outside and would turn on the flashlight on her phone, slowly but surely making her way. But, before she even made it to the road, she'd notice someone talking on the phone by the side of the building. Usually, she wouldn't stop to eavesdrop, but.. It was Mia. Of course it was Mia. Apparently she was invading Charlotte's life after talking to her twice. Her thoughts, her vision. She was starting to understand Marjorie's dislike for her.

"Tomorrow? Seriously? You know that I'm doing an exam tomorrow. No– God, dammit. Fine. Fuck."

Charlotte's face would drop as she listened, her brows furrowed in confusion. What was she doing tomorrow? Why was it more important than an exam? Why was she so angry about it? Before Charlotte could even begin to think about answers, she'd watch as Mia smashed a bottle against the wall, which would ultimately make her jump and blow her very undisguised cover. Mia would notice her and her whole character would change back to that.. calm and cold one. Almost like a puppet.

"Sorry if I scared you, sweetheart. Though, you probably shouldn't be lurking in the dark. It's not safe for pretty girls like you." The redhead would chuckle as she walked over to Charlotte, crossing her arms over her chest as she did. "Where are you heading off to?"

"I'm going home."

"What? You're gonna walk all the way there? Alone? Let me give you a lift."

Charlotte's mind would go blank as Mia offered to drive her home, and her fingers would reach for her necklace. Why would Mia do that? Why was she being nice and thoughtful? From everything she had heard about her, this wasn't one of those things. Not even Reece had anything nice to say about her despite them hanging out together pretty much every day. "Oh, I.. I wouldn't want to bother you like that. It's alright. I can walk home just fine." She would look out to the road which was being consumed by the darkness, and she was starting to second doubt herself. Perhaps walking wasn't the smartest idea. She would look back to Mia, before looking at the floor, unable to keep her eyes on hers. "Perhaps a lift wouldn't be too bad if you don't mind."

"Course I don't, cmon."

Charlotte would follow Mia over to the cars. She knew this wasn't a good idea in the slightest. Mia had been drinking, and, if anyone found out about this they'd probably hate her. But she felt like she had no other choice. It was either stay and be miserable, walk home alone in the dark and cold, or get a ride with the girl who nobody liked. None of them really seemed like great options, but this one was the best. Hopefully.

Mia would get into the car and Charlotte would follow, closing the door behind her after getting in. She would look around, and the car felt all too familiar, like she had been in here before. And then it hit her. "This– This is Reece's car! You can't just take it, Mia."

Mia would grin as she turned the keys, the engine starting. "All I'm doing is dropping you home and then coming back. He won't even notice it's gone." Mia would turn on the headlights and the heater, and the road in front would light up as the car started to warm. This wasn't all bad, except for the fact this was one of the worst ideas in history. "Do you even know how to drive?" Thinking about it, why would Mia have even gotten a ride with Reece if she knew how to drive herself?

"I'm learning. All I have left is my theory. It'll be fine."

Oh. God.

The redhead would step on the accelerator and the car would start to move, and Charlotte felt like she could see her life flashing before her eyes. An inexperienced, non-driver, drunk, cruel, horrible girl was driving her down a sketchy dark road back to her home. If this wasn't the start of a horror movie, she didn't know what was. "You know, maybe I'll just stay at the party. This isn't safe for either of us, and I don't really feel like being kidnapped, or dying."

"Hey, I wouldn't ever put you in danger. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't know what I was doing. You just have to trust me."

Trust. Trust was something Charlotte gave out fairly easy, and most of the time it always came back and hurt her time and time again. She was starting to learn that trust had to be earned, and this was not the way to do it. "Mia–"

"Relax, we're on the main road now. You like to space out a lot, don't you? Have something on your mind?"

"I.. no, I don't. I'm just tired."

"No, you're not. I can tell something is bothering you. Everytime I talk to you, you're always playing with that necklace."

Charlotte would look down to her hands, and Mia was right. She was. She hadn't even realised. Was she really that oblivious? Was she really that hurt by it that even her subconscious knew? "It's just a habit." She would drop her hands into her lap as she looked out the window, the street lamps going by in a blur. She was surprised they had gotten to the town so fast, or perhaps she had just been stuck in her head for much too long.