I'm sorry that I love you

Chapter 7

"Why would you tell Aut? Are you insane?!"

"She needed to know, Reece! You couldn't just keep it from her."

"Yes, I could've. Now she won't even talk to me! But, you wanted that, right? You want her out of my life so you can keep me all to yourself, is that it?!"

"No! God, you're delusional."

"You knew I would hurt him. You bloody knew. You're smart, Amelia. But I know you. You thought this whole thing out just to get what you want."

"After all we've been through together, you really think I'd do that to you?"

"You've changed. So, yeah, perhaps I do think you would. You're cruel, and heartless, and insane, and a complete dick. You disgust me. I don't even know you anymore."

"Right."

As soon as Mia got to her home and shut the door behind her, the built up emotions that had been begging to be released all came out at once. She had really thought she had been smart about it; that she'd be able to do what Roger had asked of her all the while keeping her friendship with Reece. But, unfortunately, things didn't quite turn out how she planned. Instead, she had ruined her relationship with both Autumn and Reece, ruined their relationship, and was getting dragged more and more into the hands of Roger. She felt stupid for taking his offer in the first place. Was getting answers from her dad really worth this much trouble? Was her own selfishness worth jeopardising all she actually had left in life? Perhaps it was, perhaps it wasn't. She'd just have to wait to find out, and that worried her.

She would head straight for her kitchen and would find the first bottle of alcohol she could find; whiskey. It wasn't her preferred drink by any means, but it would do. All she wanted was these feelings to come to a stop. For this day to be over. She'd pop out the cork and would down a quarter of the bottle in one go, the burning sensation hitting her throat in an uncomfortable but familiar way. That was how life was for her; uncomfortable, but familiar. It was a repeated cycle of pain, grief, emptiness. She wanted it to all stop. Why couldn't it all just come to an end?

Not much later she was laying in her bed with an almost empty bottle of whiskey, a burnt out joint on her bed side table, and melancholic music playing faintly in the background. She felt like complete and utter hell, mentally, emotionally and physically. Her mind kept replaying the argument between her and Reece earlier in the day. Insults don't usually get to her. They used to when she was younger, but she had learnt to block them out. But coming from Reece was a different story, though, she knew this was bound to happen eventually. You can't just become a prick and torment people without consequences. Well, except for if you're Roger. He seemed to be doing just fine. Mia really had dealt with the devil, and now she was paying the price.

She would wake up the next morning a complete mess, more so than usual. She didn't feel like moving, or going anywhere. What was even the point? What happened last night was bound to be circling around by now, and although she knew Reece would get the worse end of the stick, she knew it would be painful to see it. She didn't want to face the damage she had caused, it made her sick. She was sick of herself. But, she knew she had to face her problems head on or people would see her as weak. She had to stay strong. She had to keep her reputation standing, or else it would ruin her already crumbling pride.

So, that's what she did. She got out of bed, she did skincare, she did her makeup, she picked out and put on her outfit, and all the other things in her routine, albeit her shitty hangover and low mood. She knew that the day ahead was going to be a pain, but in reality would it be any different to any other day? It's not like anything much had changed; just the fact that she had been caught out.