Made Perfect

16

(YM)

If my face wasn't going numb, I would stay hugging on that park bench forever. I didn't wanna take Hinata, or whatever he actually decided to go by, back there to suffer. Whether it be from the knowledge of the disgusting truth or, apparently the most unbearable thing of all, boredom. I didn't want to do it. I knew it was for the best that he chose to return, but it didn't make things much easier. "...Perhaps I should return to my intrapment now. The weather appears to be getting worse soon." He said before I could stall or talk about more of the situation. He was probably right. Typical since we made him a smart ass and all. The lack of questions probably had something to do with that too. "Yeah, yeah." I tried to think of some quick comeback, yet I couldn't for once. The relief of him taking this so well and the feeling of being wanted made it too difficult. Wow, look at that. Someone actually wanted me around. Truly, it was a miracle. Just what I needed to fill the void in my cold, cynical heart. Of course, I didn't say anything about all those gross feelings. A hug was already more than he normally got.

"Let's go. Doubt you want to freeze to death out here." He followed my lead with nothing but a small nod. I never thought walking back into that haunting building would be as difficult as it was after his personality slipped away. I remember the sickly feeling that lined every nerve in my body the morning after I learned how different he became and how it was my fault. Now it was like I denied him freedom or, even worse, he was turning it down for me. The walk wouldn't take long, yet we use the time to talk more. It sucked being unable to freely speak my mind in there. "Are you saving that packet for when you get bored again?" I believed him when he said he could hide it from those oh so benevolent grandpas. Actually, it'd be disappointing if he didn't find any hiding places by now. "I would like something to look forward to. Learning of my past is the most interesting avenue I have to explore." His monotone voice took some getting used to. Even now.

"Nothing like digging up old skeletons to spice up your life. Who needs excitement in the present when you can unearth the riveting tales of Hinata Hajime?" Whenever I laid my typical sarcasm out, I be sure to watch his face. Waiting for any kind of change to convince me he was still in there. Even after all this time, I silently hoped the person I knew would reappear that he would bounce out of his depression. Although it was completely understandable in his situation. "I had such a generic name. Perhaps there is some artistry in that." He answered with a completely blank expression. The insane amount of hair on top of his red eyes made him appear like someone else entirely. I knew I needed to let go of any hope for things to go back to how they used to be. It was childish to put it lightly. "Now that you know all about it, what do *you* wanna go by?" I asked almost like it was a test. His answer could change my view on how he was actually doing. If he'd jump out of depression or stick to this for the foreseeable future, it all depended on his choice. Asking was pointless, I already knew the answer.

"Kamukura Izuru is our only option. If you were to call me Hinata, you could not hide that from the Committee. They will suspect something." 'Kamukura' was right. Like always. No matter how much I controlled when I called him by his real name, I had no idea when I'd get the chance to without getting caught. Great. That was just like his recent self. No sentimental replies, only logic and reason. Made me look all sensitive in comparison. "Fair enough, H- Kamukura." The new name was way too difficult to blurt out. It felt like I was joining the Committee's side, although I guess I always have been. "Thank you for asking, Matsuda. It is considerate to remember my birth name given these circumstances." His voice stayed in that emotionless state, still I knew he meant it. I had to deter this. "I can practically feel my heartstrings being tugged. Pass me a bucket, will you?" He rolled his eyes at that one. At least he had that much emotion left in him.

Before he could say anything about the ridiculousness of how I should be used to his new name or reading into my adversion, the wind started up. Piercing air irritated my already frozen ears while ice chips narrowly avoided my eyes. Oh fantastic, he was right about this damn weather. What kind of insane hermit actually liked winter? We had to run for it. All the way from the gate to that abandoned building at the very end of campus. Grabbing onto his wrist, I was forced to rush our time together. Hurrying to get out of this sudden storm. During the scurry there, he passed me nonchalantly. Like it was the most natural thing to do in that situation. With that, I decided to turn it into a race. "Showoff!" He rushed forward as I chased after him. “I am not doing anything.” Ugh. A quick slam and locking of the outside doors as I caught my breath. Oh, how cool of me to be winded after such a short run... and to lose. "...I suppose you would like your clothing back." 'Kamukura' said with little indication of being out of breath. Uh huh, that wasn’t emasculating. "Yeah. Go in the room and change back. I'll turn the cameras on again after you're in bed. Bet you're exhausted from all that effortless winning." He thought for a second before plainly replying, "I am cold." Fair enough. "Fine, I can get you an extra blanket so you don't have to use your hair as one."