This is There! Right There! From Legally Blonde the Musical. I totally thought of the Superwholock fandom doing this, then just all fandoms. Using Johnlock as an example because that was my first thought.
Fangirl 1:
There! Right There!
Look at that tan, well tended skin.
Look at the killer shape he's in.
Look at that slightly stubbly chin.
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.
Fangirl 2:
I'm not about to celebrate.
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate.
This guy's not gay, I say not gay.
Fandom:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically radically fey?
Fangirl 3:
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.
Fangirl 1:
Look at his silk translucent socks.
Fangirl 2:
There's the eternal paradox.
Look what we're seeing.
Fangirl 1:
What are we seeing?
Fangirl 2:
Is he gay?
Fangirl 1:
Of course he's gay.
Fangirl 2:
Or European?
Fandom:
ohhhhhh.
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?
Fangirl 4:
Well, hey don't look at me.
Fangirl 5:
You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.
Fandom:
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They will say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks.
Fangirl 1:
Oh please.
Fandom:
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.
Fangirl 4:
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.
Fandom:
Is he gay or European?
or
Fangirl 6:
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro hetero jerk.
That guy's not gay, I say no way.
Fandom:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume
Fangirl 1:
Is automatically-radically
Fangirl 2:
Ironically chronically
Fangirl 5:
Certainly pertin'tly
Fangirl 4:
Genetically medically
Fandom:
GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY
DAM! (Hehe)
Gay or European?
Fangirl 2:
So stylish and relaxed.
Fandom:
Is he gay or European?
Fangirl 2:
I think his chest is waxed.
Fangirl 5:
But they bring their boys up different there.
It's culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse.
Fandom:
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code.
Fangirl 7:
Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed.
Fandom:
Huh.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.
OBSSESED Fangirl:
But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday.
Fandom:
Is he gay or European?
gay or european?
Gay or Euro-
Fangirl 3:
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
I have an idea I'd like to try.
Fangirl 2:
The floor is yours.
Fangirl 3:
So Mr. Watson...
This alleged affair with Mary has been going on for...?
John:
2 years.
Fangirl 3:
And your first name again is...?
John:
John.
Fangirl 3:
And your boyfriend's name is...?
John:
Sherlock.
I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend.
I thought you say best friend. Sherlock is my best friend.
Sherlock:
You idiot!
You lying idiot!
That's it.
I no cover for you, no more!
Peoples.
I have a big announcement.
This man is Gay and European!
and neither is disgrace
you've got to stop your being
a completely closet case.
No matter what he say.
I swear he never ever ever swing the other way.
You are so gay.
You big parfait!
You flaming boy band cabaret.
John:
I'm straight!
Sherlock:
You were not yesterday.
So if I may, I'm proud to say,
He's gay!
Fandom:
And European!
Sherlock:
He's gay!
Fandom:
And European!
Sherlock:
He's gay!
Fandom:
And European and Gay!
John:
Fine okay I'm gay!
Fandom:
Hooray!
YOU ARE READING
Fangirling 3
RandomWoah, here we go again. This is your ultimate book of headcannons, randomness and jumble of fandoms. We made it to book three my lovely followers! DOOOWEEOOO This is classified as a OLD WORK WARNING but there is some pretty funny stuff in here.
