"Hey, love," Natasha's soothing voice cooed as you slowly woke up, and she was tracing your features with feather light touches of her fingertips, "Missed you."
"Mm." You hummed in agreement, smiling softly with your eyes still closed as she swiped a finger lightly down your nose and then poked your cheek gently.
"Worried about you." She whispered and you responded by cuddling further into her chest, your breath fanning over her collarbone as you buried your face between her neck and the pillow.
"'m okay." You mumbled against her, smelling the cinnamon vanilla body wash she bought the last time you guys went shopping, but her hair smelt of something else you couldn't pinpoint, but it was nice.
"I hope it's okay I'm here." She kept her voice low, and you just realized you didn't fall asleep with her in your bed, but the idea of her debating whether it was a good idea to cuddle next to you in your sleep or not, eventually caving, had you smiling against her.
"Very okay."
She wrapped her arms around you, holding you close, and when you sighed, relaxing into it, she kissed your forehead, nuzzling her face into your hair after.
It was a couple hours later when she got up to make you both some food that you wandered into your bathroom and cringed at what you saw – but more on the fact that Natasha saw it too. There were heavy bags under your eyes, your mascara was smudged, your hair a tangled mess, your cheek had a mark from the pillow, and you looked...like, you were still hot somehow, but you've definitely had better days.
You ran the shower as you heard Natasha arguing with Pietro over which to make, pancakes or waffles, and that made you smile as you stepped under the streaming water. The steam poured out, but the hot water pressed against your skin, feeling like it was soothing your bones, and you lazily washed up, not in any rush. You took the time to wash your hair and shave, just enjoying the time alone to take care of yourself, and then you stepped out almost an hour later, toweling off with a satisfied smile on your face, even if it was small before brushing up.
You changed into a pair of joggers and a jumper, feeling the need for warmth as you pulled on some thicker socks. Then you went downstairs, your stomach growling at you since you've neglected it, and you really felt dehydrated too.
You were grumbling to yourself, feeling kind of weak and achy as you stepped into the kitchen, heading for the cupboard to find a teabag when Natasha shoved a mug filled with your favorite into your hands. You stopped grumbling immediately and took some sips, feeling it soothe your insides as the shower did your outsides.
"You saved my life, printessa!" Pietro greeted you as you slid to sit at the breakfast bar across from him, "I meant to thank you for asking your father to step in with the university's board."
"It was no problem," You smiled at him behind your cup and then watched Natasha as she slid a stack of pancakes in front of you, "We had fun in New York, right Natalia?"
"I'd say so." She smirked and Pietro quirked an eyebrow your way before she kissed your cheek, moving to sit next to you.
"She begged me to be her girlfriend on the trip," You deadpanned, and Natasha gaped at you while Pietro snickered behind his hand, "There were tears."
"I don't beg." She insisted and it was your turn to smirk.
"But you will."
"Someone's feeling better!" Thor's voice boomed out as he came into the room from outside and you perked up, running over to him where he was waiting with his arms out for a bear hug.
"It's only been a few days." Natasha told him lowly, and he frowned down at you.
"'m okay." You assured and he hugged you tighter.
"It's okay to be sad." He mumbled and you nodded against him.
Sam came by after you finished your pancakes, and you went for a run with him even though you could tell he was slowing down for your benefit.
Tony called you later to talk about some charity auction that your dad invited you both to in a couple of weeks and you guys complained about it for a bit, but it went without saying that if your mom was alive, she'd encourage you guys to go, so obviously, you'd be going.
The next week or so, you spent the same.
You'd go to class like a zombie, sleep about thirteen hours a night, and try not to cry the rest of the time. It was weird because you hadn't cried when you were in New York, but once you started here, it was hard to stop. Tony called every day you guys didn't see each other, not mentioning anything in particular, just talking about your days, and you guys would tease each other, but it was actually kind of nice.
You didn't want to put this all on a new relationship, you even offered Natasha a realistic out – just to take a break for a while so she could do her own thing and not have to worry about hurting you, but she was beyond offended. You couldn't help it though, you felt so guilty for dragging her through your mess, you wanted to make her happy and you smiled sadly when she said being with you makes her happy and she wasn't going to just abandon you when things got tough.
Your head was a mess, to say the least.
But it was kind of a random morning when you woke up and just decided not to keep doing this to yourself.
People deal with grief in all different ways and maybe it never leaves you completely, but personally, you were done crying and you promised yourself to keep those you cared about close – never let them forget you love them.
"I love you, Loki." You squeezed them into a side hug after they lifted a scoop of cereal and you grinned with tired eyes.
"Unhand me, foul creature."
"Aren't you going to say it back?"
"I'm trying to eat." They grumbled and you released them with a sad sigh, sitting next to them with your chin in your palm.
"I've got a stupid thing in New York to go to this weekend," You sighed a bit more dramatically and they seemed to be hiding their interest, "Any chance you'd go with me?"
"Ask your girlfriend."
"Nah," You scoffed, "I wouldn't put that adorable angel through all that pretentious shit."
"One," They angrily lifted their finger, finally looking at you, but they were glaring and you raised your eyebrows, "She's more likely to be the devil – she threw a book at my head yesterday!" They shouted and then took a deep breath, raising a second finger with a huff, "And two, I find it rude that you'd try to trick me into going in her place when you know this event will be torturous for your guest."
"Damn, you're quick," You shrugged, not expecting anything less, "Alright, I'll find another victim."
"I have a few ideas."
"Who's on your list these days?"
"Steve Rogers, Darcy Lewis, my brother, Pietro Maximoff, and now you for trying to trick me."
"We should call you the trickster."
"Maybe don't." They sassed and you snorted a laugh.
