Never Letting Go. (Sequel to Til Death Do Us Part.)

13. I'm Sorry?

Its been a few days since Zayn and I have had sex. The first time.

Since that day, we've done it three or four other times. Each time was different from the other. Location wise and feeling wise. It was gentle and easy at first, but yesterday he kind of changed his speed and force. It was nice and all, but I prefer the slow method.

Yesterday we were in his kitchen, the day before we were in the public bathroom at a lounge, and the other time we were embaressingly enough, in Harry's living room.

You're probably wondering how we got Harry and Aeron's living room for that long, but it was quite easy. We were all going to lunch. Zayn just didn't want to go and I lied and said I was sick and wanted to go to bed. I went to my room before they left, including Niall, and waited for five or six minutes before going downstairs. From there it was just crazy and rough.

Now that I mentioned Niall, you're probably wondering how awkward it was around him and Zayn. It wasn't. I already said I just didn't care for Niall anymore. He has that stupid blonde girl and I have no one. It's better that way.

I don't see myself with Zayn. While we were having sex all of those times, I tried picturing us as a couple, but it just didn't work. He probably thinks we're more than just fuck buddies. Really, that's all I think we are. I honestly just don't want to be in a serious relationship. At all. Not in a year's time or two, or four. I never ever want to be in another serious relationship in my life.

They're stressful and with my background, no one can keep up with my steady changes in moods and constant depression. Well, one person can, but Niall is old news.

I was sitting in my bedroom, against my headboard with my feet pulled up under me and my knees were tight to my chest. The atmosphere was weird and lonely. I was getting used to it. I was getting used to the lonliness and the depression and humility of being single. Its relatively new after being married for eight years, but hey what can you do?

I'm not the only person that has to deal with it, but like before; Niall had that replacement blonde. My blonde just isn't good enough for him. I guess since I dyed my hair, he suddenly likes real damn blondes.

Ugh! I just feel like ripping my hair out. Every piece that was left on top of my stupid, ugly, confused head.

There was a series of rythmic knocks at my door. I groaned and got up, walking over to it.

"Hold on." I say.

I ran combed through my hair with one hand and pulled the door open with the other. I looked up and saw a head full of faded blonde.

"Niall? W- what are you doing here?" I ask as he looked in at me.

His eyes were puffy and red. Crying.

"I want to talk." He replies.

I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Talk," I ask, looking down to chuckle and looked back up at him.

"You had your chance to talk when I came over and a half girl, wearing your shirt answered the door."

"Elizabeth, I was-"

"Don't say my name." I seethe.

He sighed.

"Liz. I wasn't going to do anything else with her."

"Anything else?! You weren't going to do anything else with her?! What the hell do you mean you weren't going to do anything else?!" I snap.

"Exactally what it sounds like."

"Niall, I don't want to hear anything you're saying to me right now." I say, turning to pace the room.

"Liz, please? I just want to talk about us."