A Court of Blood & Mercy || Elriel Dual POV

Chapter 31 - Sleep With Me Shadowsinger

Elain rubbed her shoulders, pulling the thick woolen veil closer to her skin as she settled into the stone bench, happily petting Dunya with a free hand as her eyes travelled the stars above the greenhouse.

It was silent and humid in the space, save for her rapidly beating heart, her plants finally reviving somewhat after their week of neglect, apparently forgiving of the attempted-murder and willing to bloom for her again.

She remembered back to the last time she had spent an insomnia-ridden night in her greenhouse, sitting on this same bench when Lucien had come to speak to her... telling her that "the Shadowsinger has come."

Elian felt a chill go over her arms again as she fought the rush of air in her lungs.

So many moments in her life had severed things into "before" and "after." The Cauldron, Tamlin bursting into their cottage, the death of her father, the vision of her pregnancy... the bloodied sheets from that second pregnancy.

She wondered now if Lucien would ever realize that he had been speaking a prophetic word over her life: manifesting another precipice on which elain now saw a "before" and an "after."

Because nothing would ever be the same after tonight.

After this kiss... the way his scarred hands tangled and gripping the roots of her hair on her scalp as she felt herself release against him. There was no going back: no returning to life before she knew what it was to taste Azriel: to feel him groan and weaken just by her touch.

Of course, as with every other time, Elain had not realized tonight would be life changing.

She had been standing outside, holding her breath and biting her bottom lip as she paused outside the tall oak door, her hand curled small, ready to knock.

And if her intentions had been completely pure, perhaps she would not have hesitated. Perhaps she would have pushed her way inside, reminded him of dinner and checked for a fever before sweeping out in a flurry of skirts and tasks.

But she was hesitating.

Because, well, she didn't quite know. She wanted to... she wasn't sure. Maybe see him?

She almost laughed to herself.

"See him."

As if things were ever that simple or ever that innocent when it had come to Azriel.

Just the scent trail of him, left behind in the corridor after he had long since retired to his room on the opposite side of the manor... it was as if it was beckoning her to follow, like fairy dust sprinkled on a forest floor, a magical trail from a story: as if trailing his scent would reveal a lifeline to heaven. It was sensual and invigorating, but also stronger than just the physical: like the call of the wild or the magic of the Cauldron. It reminded her of that time she had wandered through to Hybern's camp... like her body was not her own, completely fallen toward the soul of another as she all but realized she would be willing to lose herself if she could only find... him.

So now, here she was like a fool, waiting outside his door with a thundering heart while earlier she had been sighing into her cup of tea as she watched him repot a shrub, and then later, squeezing her thighs together as she watched him stack wood at a distance.

She had been a fool.

An utter miserable fool to ever allow him to stay here. How could she ever devote Azriel to the category of friend when her body was screaming for so much more? And her heart and soul, and every part of her.

And with her daughter away, her mate long gone, and even her irritating brother-in-law nowhere to be seen, it was becoming more and more difficult to resist the commands swelling in her chest and deep within her hips. Like she had no responsibility of mother or Lady, or any other thing other than... female.