It's fine, it's just life

Twenty-one

Lilly's pov

"Get in the back." Ryan says once he parks.

"What?" I asked so confused.

"Doesn't my princess want her reward?" He said as I bit my lower lip.

I climb in the back sitting down. Ryan climbing in the back too.

I watch as he takes his black jacket off. A white t-shirt pressed against his body showing his muscles.

My eyes connect with his.

Desire, lust, hunger, passion and thirst in our eyes All of those emotions in our eyes.

 Ryan's hands roam my body, he then lays me down gently. My breath hitching as be climbs on top of me.

"Can I?" He whispered. My heart sinks. 

'Can I?' His question repeated in my head.

'Can I?'

My eyes watered. 

No one ever cared to ask if I was okay with it. No one ever asked, they just pleased as they did. I didn't even know that I had a say. No one ever asked me, it was always; "Shut up." and "Deal with it you, slut." or, "Take it like the whore that you are." 

"Yes." I breathed out.

"Are you sure?" He asked again, i nodded my chest going up and down heavily. 

"Words, I need words, Deer." He said as I breathed out.

"Yes." I whispered. He kisses my neck, noises coming out of my mouth a I cover my mouth my eyes widen.

'What is that?' I thought.

"I'm scared." I whispered. 

"What's your safe word?" He asked me.

"Hello Kitty!" I whispered shout as he smiles.

"When you say Hello Kitty, i'll stop. If you feel uncomfortable or anything say 'Hello Kitty.' Okay?" He explained as I nodded.

He kisses my cheek. Slowly pulling back he looks at me our eyes connecting.

He then groans.

"I'm sorry, Deer. I'm so stupid." He says sitting up, I sit up looking at him as he rubs the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry. You don't deserve our first time especially your first time in the back of the car. Your first time will be special." He says as i smiled softly climbing in his lap.

"Thank you." I said softly.

"For what, Deer?" He asked.

"Making sure I feel comfortable and just not going straight into it." I said, truly grateful.

"I'll always think about you, not me. You my, Deer deserve to be treated right." He says as I smile.

Going into the front seats.

Ryan's pov

"Do you know how to do donuts?" Lilly suddenly asked me, her eyes sparkling.

"Donuts? I do." I said.

"Can we?" She asked as I smiled.

"Anything you want my, Deer." I said as she smiled.

"Buckle up." I said as she did.

I start the car before I can drive i freeze hearing my, Deer's worried voice.

"What about you?" She asked me.

"I'll be okay." I said she shakes her head.

"Please put your seat belt on." She says, I do exactly as she says.