me and the devil - kai parker

18

TW. Graphic description and discussion of suicide, graphic sexually explicit scenes

New York City, New York

May 10th, 1994 - day 3354

Madelene looked up, the naked image of her in the bathtub looking back at her. She didn't understand the concept of a mirrored ceiling, but the fanciest five-star hotel in New York seemed to have it in every bathroom. She rolled to the side, scorching hot water spilling out of the tub as she did, reaching for the bottle of vodka placed on the tiled floor.

"Happy Birthday Madelene" she laughed and mimicked toast with the bottle to her reflection. "You would have been twenty-seven" She took a big swing of the translucent liquid, it burned the back of her throat, but she didn't care. At least she knew she still felt anything at all.

There was no cake or candles, but with closed eyes, she pretended there was, she wished for her dad, she wished for freedom, and she fished for a warm embrace.

She squeezed her eyes harder, sinking deeper into the water, the heat enveloping her like a cocoon.

The room was silent except for the occasional drip of water from the faucet. She let herself drift, the alcohol dulling the sharp edges of her thoughts. The memory of Kai's laughter echoed in her mind, bringing a bittersweet smile to her lips.

Malachai Parker, the bane of her existence, oh how she missed him.

She did not miss Prison World Kai, she chose to erase him from memory long ago. She missed the carrying, funny Mal from before. She chose to treat that version of Kai as if he was dead, it was easier to cope with death than with such betrayal.

His smirk, the way his eyes sparkled with mischief, the unpredictable nature that kept her constantly on edge. Kai was infuriating, dangerous, and intoxicating all at once. She hated him for the chaos he brought into her life, yet she couldn't deny the void his absence left behind. The numbness she felt after being alone for the last six years.

She wondered where he was now, what he was doing. Was he thinking about her the way she thought of him? Did he feel the same emptiness that she did? Did he have any regrets? She shook her head, chastising herself for being so weak. Kai was a force of destruction, and she was better off without him.

The vodka burned less now, its fiery trail replaced by a numbness that spread through her limbs. She let out a sigh, the sound barely audible in the quiet room. Her thoughts drifted back to the times they spent together, the arguments, the laughter, the passion. The passion.

She remembered the last time she saw him, the look in his eyes as she ran for her life.

She wondered if he made it out after all, although doubtful, there was nothing impossible for Kai.

She was supposed to check in with him at least once a year, but she chose not to, afraid of his promise, the promise he screamed out looking down at her from the window seal. You better pray I never do.

So she did everything to never get caught again.

She traveled and learned how to cook, swim, archery, steering a boat, she has been to every state in the USA collecting fridge magnets, she did not even have a fridge, they stacked up in the backseat of her car, and she killed herself seventy-six times, forty-five different ways. Nothing seems to stick permanently.

She devoted her life to searching for a loophole, for a way to go out of this world forever, for ancestors to have no way to bring her back. And she found one, so Happy Birthday Madelene Brooks, hopefully, it will be the last one.