• ☾ Cold Blue ☽ •

• ☾ Chapter 15 | Tough Decision ☽ •

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Shinobu's POV ~

• . ⋆ ✦ _________________ ✦ ⋆ . •

The clouds filled up the sky as the rain dribbled down the glass of the windows, it was another rainy day. I wasn't very fond of rainy days, they weren't bad but also weren't good. But something I did like about rainy days was how chilly it got because then I had an excuse to stay inside and read all day. People usually tell me that I should get out and marry already, bear children, and become the average woman. But that's not what I want to do with my life. I want to travel, I want to help my sisters, and become a very skilled pharmacist. The idea of getting married and having children isn't bad to me, it's just not what I want at the moment. There are so many things I want to do, but not enough time to do them, I wish life didn't have to go by so fast. Life goes by as quickly as the flash of a camera, and I hate that.

Something that's been lingering around my man lately is the idea of becoming a demon slayer, or at least helping out in the corps. People die from demon attacks every day, and people's lives are stolen away from horrid creatures. My parent's lives were taken... I don't want anyone to go through that, it's awful. It's gut-wrenching. I'm not sure if my sister and I have recovered from it, even after all these years... It still hurts, like someone's pinching my heart. Sometimes when I lay in my bed at night, I can still see their corpses. Gouged-out eyes ripped jaws, clawed open stomachs, rivers of blood splattered everywhere. It's... horrifying. Deep rage burns inside me every day, why did the demons have to murder my beloved parents? I release a sigh place my book down and lean my head down onto my pillow, relaxing into my futon bed. Thunder echoed through my ears and boomed into the earth, like nature's lullaby. If I do wanna become a demon slayer, maybe I should ask Tomioka - san, he's a demon slayer after all he's one of the strongest in the corps! I'm not sure what I'll be facing, but I'll be ready.

I release a small sigh as I finally finish the last chapter of a book I've been reading, I close it and place it beside my pillow. Even though the cottage had burnt down, and was now just ash swiftly flying through the wind's grasp, I deeply missed my home. I remember baking there, playing around in the pond, eating warm dinners with my family every night. Tomioka-san has a beautiful house, and I do like how traditional it is. But I can't help but miss sleeping under my covers, the branches of the tree right outside my window hitting the glass at night, it sounded a bit scary but was also comforting, like a lullaby from nature. I've been told my sisters and I will be leaving with my father again to live in another house, but I feel like that has been going on for weeks, but we haven't gone anywhere! It's becoming frustrating.

The door slides open and I see Kanao, her hair is wet and sloppily falls around her cleavage area. "Kanao... why are you so wet?" I asked curiously, I planted my hands on the ground and pushed myself up then stumbled over to Kanao, taking out my handkerchief and wiping her soaked face up. "I was watching Water Pillar - same train," she replied, as stoic as ever... not that I blame her for it, I can't bear to think about what her parents did to her when she was younger when we found her she was all tied up and bruised, she even had flies and lice mauling her! I blinked twice, making sure I heard her right, why would Tomioka - be training in the rain? "Why is he training when the weather is so wet?" I asked, Kanao just shrugged. I sighed and placed my hands on her shoulders gently, trying not to spook her. "Why don't you go take a nice, warm bath? After that, I can cook you a warm meal. How does that sound?" I ask, I notice the way her dark eyes begin to twinkle. Her fingers guide themselves to each other and she begins to fidget with them again. "I...I'd like that..." she stutters, she's such a sweet girl. My own eyes twinkle when I think about how cute she is! I pat her on the shoulder and skip away from her, "I'll be back shortly!"

I walk out to the veranda, where I see Giyuu lifting two large and heavy rocks tied to some ropes, is he lifting weights? In the rain? While the thunder is booming down? He's such an idiot it's sad. "Tomioka - san!" I shout, he lifts the weights one more time without struggling at all, then turns his head to me. His brows are furrowed down tired and angry, his hair is dripping wet and the water droplets are dripping off of his skin, making his skin look shiny. But I can't help but worry, in this weather, he could catch a serious cold! "Tomioka-san, come inside before you get sick!" I demand I tap my foot on the veranda, I feel like a strict and angry mother... He looks at me but just sighs and drops the rocks, then walks over to me, I notice how bruised and blistered his palms are... dripping blood and scratched up. "Yes, Kochō?" he asks me, he came over here so quick I didn't even notice! I look up at him, his hair dripping water onto my forehead. I grunt. "Why are you training in this kind of weather? Don't you realize you could get sick, or worse!? You could be struck by lightning if you're not careful!" however, he seems unphased by my ranting, his eyebrows stay furrowed as his eyes narrow. "I have to train... to become stronger," he says, his voice hoarse and scratched up, his throat must be aching from all the running he must've done. I just sigh, and pull him by his uniform inside. His sleeves are rolled up, and I can't help but notice the bulging veins in his forearms, as well as the bruises and dirt stains, my word, what was he doing out there?

I sat him down in the dining area, "You stay here, I am going to get some materials for your wounds." I say strictly, pointing my finger at him, jeez, I feel like a strict mother even more!

I come back after fetching some bandages and disinfectant. I see him sitting all tired on the cushion, he looks exhausted... I wonder how long he's been up? I sigh and kneel, "Tomioka - san..." My hand reaches up and caresses his cheek. "What am I supposed to do with you?" I say, I feel my eyes begin to gaze into his, creating a stare as we lock souls. His deep blue eyes are so... empty. Empty of happiness and comfort, except they seem like they've gained something new since the last time I've stared into them... despite everything, there's something soft in his eyes when he looks at me... it's... it's strange. I shake my head and clear my throat, no, I'm being silly, nothing has changed. I'm most likely just making things up because I want to be the one to make him feel better, but I'm not changing anything no matter how much I try. "We train our bodies till' we feel like we'll die... this is nothing compared to the other things I've faced," he says, looking away from me as I wipe down his face from the dirt that stained his cheeks. "That sounds terrible..." "It's not, I've gotten... I've— ngh... never mind," he says as if he's interrupting himself. An awkward silence comes between us, and I guess this is my moment to strike conversation.

"Tomioka - san...?" I asked, bandaging up his popped blisters. He hums in response. "I was thinking, and I've been thinking a lot lately..." I said, preparing to say what's been stuck in my throat lately. "I...I want to... too join the demon slayer corps!" I finally say it, clenching my fists and looking down to avoid his gaze. "What...?" he asks, pausing for a minute. I look up and see his expression, he looks shocked. "I want to join the demon slayer corps, I want to fight alongside you!" I shout out happily, finally, after a while of thinking about, after my words were caught in my throat like a butterfly in a cobweb, I finally speak my words. "No." "Eh?" "I don't want you to get killed..." he says, he leans back a little and moves around while I try and heal his wounds. "I'm sure I can handle it, I've been through a l—" "No. You'll get slaughtered within seconds of stepping into the Final Selection." I feel offended, he's calling me weak... The worst insult I can be called. He stands up straight and looks down at me. "You can ask your father but I'm sure he'll say no as well. I can't let you get hurt, Kochō..." he says, his fists clench and I see as they tremble... did I say something wrong ? "I'm going to train more..." before I can say another word or finish healing his wounds, he disappears in a flash. I sigh, feeling angry. Why did I ever ask him!?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~