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T E N

The room was filled with silence.
I had told Apollo everything. My traumatic visit in my consciousness, the corrupted version of me on the cross, the sudden headaches and the appointment with the therapist.

After telling him that, I stopped looking at him. Instead, I was staring at the ground because I felt so bad and embarrassed. I didn't even know why. But I felt guilty for stealing his time constantly and ending up having a fear of love.

He sighed and looked at me. "Guess this is the end of my lessons, then."
"I'm so sorry..." I said. "I should've known it. I just misunderstood the signs."
"No need to apologize. I'm used to getting disappointed." Apollo smiled.

My eyes turned big. "I don't want to disappoint you!"
This whole situation made me even more uncomfortable and sad. Why did this all exist? This stupid corruption, the fear, everything! I just wanted to delete the memories I made in my consciousness and in the therapist's office to live a normal life.

Apollo stood up, but I wanted to make him happy again. I don't even know what was going on in my mind, but I grabbed his hand.

Instead of saying something, I felt weird because of the electricity through the touch.
He just looked at me and said nothing. Probably because he was blushing and feeling uncomfortable too.

After some seconds of silence, he smiled at me and I just smiled back. I stopped holding his hand, but instead of letting my hand slip away, he now grabbed mine and sat down next to me again. Then, he gave me a hug and put his head on my shoulder.

I noticed how I felt something weird. My heart was beating really fast and my body was infused with some kind of warmth. The touch of Apollo's hands on my back wasn't weird or strange, it gave me a feeling of peace and comfort.

Apollo was lifting his arms a little, but I wasn't ready to stop that feeling of warmth.
I wrapped my arms around him. I couldn't end this hug without hugging him back properly.
I assumed that I was hugging him as a friend while he clearly just felt sorry for me and my situation. Maybe he didn't like me at all and just wanted a friend he could talk to.

When the hug ended, Apollo looked at me with a weird shine in his eyes. "Did you feel that too?"
"What do you mean?" I asked confusedly.
"The sudden warmth when we hugged each other." He looked at the ground in nervousness. "At least that's what I felt. You put really much love in hugs for someone who's afraid of it."

My heart pounded faster. He felt this sudden warmth as well? So... did he see me as a friend too? Something like... a virtuous friend?

"You mean that wave of happiness and comfort?" I asked excitedly. Something in my mind told me to tell him I felt it too, even though the corrupted brain half was furious. 'You worthless piece of garbage! This is ridiculous! A scandal!'

He nodded and blushed. "I don't know what that means, but it is something good. Maybe we're just good friends."
"Yeah," I said. "You're probably right."

———

When I was at home, I fell onto my bed and thought about what happened at Apollo's house.
The bond of our friendship just turned into a bigger, stronger bond than before. And I honestly liked it. I was just kind of confused because of how the hug made me feel stronger. The corruption was angry because of it, so it surely has something to do with love. Sadly, I hadn't figured out what exactly it meant. And I didn't want to. I didn't even want to think about what it could mean for our friendship.

After some minutes of convincing myself that everything was right, I fell asleep. I was exhausted and tired, so I probably deserved the rest.

But when I found myself awake at our spot in the forest, I was just confused.
Was I dreaming?
I noticed Apollo sitting next to me. He wasn't wearing a shirt, just like before. His eyes were lying on mine and focusing on me completely.

I felt like my hands were controlling themselves when I gave him a hug.
A hug that felt just like the one before, giving me strength and comfort.
But Apollo went backwards. He seemed to be really uncomfortable. "Furina," He said. "We cannot do this."

"Why not? We're friends, aren't we?" I said. My confusion at this moment was real, I couldn't explain his sudden reaction.
"Because I don't see you as a friend." Apollo looked at me. His eyes had this weird shine again, the one they had after hugging me this afternoon.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I was afraid of what he'd answer. He really didn't see me as a friend? I was confused and sad at the same time and felt like the bond between us got a little scratch that made it less stable.

Apollo looked at me seriously. "Furina. You have never been a friend to me. I actually see you as my-..."

———

I suddenly woke up.

I was breathing heavily and sweating as if I was having a nightmare. My pillow was wet because of the sweat and... something else. Something that was where my face lied down.

With a bit of confusion, I touched my cheek. There was a liquid on it, and it clearly came out of my eyes.
So I had been crying during the dream? But why? It wasn't that traumatic or scary, just really, really confusing. And the drastic end made me wonder what Apollo would have said if the dream wouldn't have ended so abruptly.

I just wanted to stop thinking about all this and checked my phone.
There was a message from Apollo, so I decided to read them out of curiosity.

'Hi, Furina, I just wanna tell you something. It might be important. Do you have time to come to our usual place or at least call me?'

I sighed. That was two hours ago. It was 9 PM already and I really didn't want to text him back now. It would sound so fake and weird, like 'Hey, sorry, I had no chance to read your message because I was busy dreaming about you and me hugging. You were about to say something important, but I woke up, sry.'

But I had already read the message and wanted to text him an answer.
My hands were shaking, but I typed the words anyway. I made lots of mistakes and it took longer than normally, but I felt a pressure to do it. I wanted to be a good friend and not let him wait longer than he already had to.

'Sorry for not answering, I didn't see your message. We can still call if you want!'

His answer came not even a minute later. I felt even worse. Did that mean he had been waiting for me to answer? How embarrassing that it took me so long to type some proper words!
I read the text anyway.

'We can meet as well if you want, it's Friday, after all.'

My heart made a little jump because of joy. He wanted to meet me at 9 PM?!
I smiled while typing the answer. When I realized it, I stopped smiling immediately and looked at myself in the mirror.
"You don't like this guy, don't you?" I asked the girl I was seeing there.

My brain had problems answering this question. My corrupted part — that was definitely bigger than the normal one — raised an eyebrow. It seemed a little angry or disappointed.
'Ew! How could you think such nonsense...'

The other one was really annoyed. It rolled its eyes and looked at me.
'Clearly not, idiot. You love him.'

[1330 words]