"I could have found my own way there." She was sitting in the passenger seat of his car, staring aimlessly out the window as they headed down the freeway.
She hadn't said much of anything... She didn't know what to talk about, so instead, she relied on the music coming through the speakers to do it all for her.
She needed to be distracted, all the time, it seemed.
Lindsey chuckled lightly, one hand on the wheel as the other held onto the foam cup. "Yeah, but we can go together to this." He wanted to just tell her that should she be thankful, but he really didn't want to argue with her.
They hadn't seen each other in weeks and even though she had told him that she didn't want to speak to him, she still answered the phone when he had called.
As soon as he got the invite in the mail, he wanted to know if she wanted to ride out to Arizona with him for Penny's first birthday party. And of course, even though it wasn't going to be very easy, Stevie wasn't going to miss it... Not for the world.
So she had spent all morning preparing to see her family, and by the time she crawled into the passenger seat, everything was a little hazy... Perfect to drown out the pain that was weighing so heavily.
"Where's Carol Ann?" She wondered as she reached down to grab her purse off the floorboard. "I'm surprised she didn't want to be there for her-"
"She's at home." He cut her off, shaking his head as a smirk danced across his face... Sometimes she could be so tough to get along with. "She wasn't feeling too well this morning, so she stayed home." He shrugged lightly, kind of, secretly happy that it was just the two of them on that little road trip.
Raising a brow, she pulled two cigarettes out of the pack. "That's too bad." She mumbled as she brought one up to her lips to light it.
He looked at her for a brief moment, taking it carefully when she handed it over. "How have things been for you?" Lindsey wondered, even though he was a little reluctant to ask.
He only knew what he heard through the grapevine and many times, just because of the reliability, he always took that information with a grain of salt.
"Don't ask me stupid questions, Lindsey." She shook her head, shifting in her seat as she grew annoyed. "It's obviously been pretty bad lately." She added with a hint of sarcasm.
It was eating away at her... All of it.
It had been three months since she'd seen her youngest baby and she had only reached out to Jess and Barbara a handful of times in between. Of course, she cared... She was Penny's mom- she cared more than anyone, but that didn't mean it was easy for her.
The first time she called out there, Barbara was telling her all about how she'd signed Penny up for swim lessons, and informed her that they were already going on play dates with other kids from some little art class she was in... She was only nine months old at the time- she would never remember any of it, but Barbara wanted to give her the world and she was.
And as much as she appreciated that, Stevie knew that it should have been her doing those things.
"You know, eventually, she'll come back to us." Lindsey had no doubt in his mind of that, not for a single second.
He knew that as soon as they figured it out- got their acts together and grew up a little- Barbara would have no problem bringing Penelope back out to California to be with her parents.
"I told Mick that I was done." She announced, heart beating a little faster than before. "I can't do it anymore." She added a second later as the tears began to slowly fill the brims of her eyes.
Lindsey paused for a second and then he reached over, letting one hand meet her thigh to give it a subtle squeeze. "I love you." He reminded her, even though he knew she didn't want to hear that... Not when she was feeling that bad about everything. "And I promise you, it'll all be okay."
~~~
The rest of their drive out to Arizona was spent in comfortable silence. They had known each other for so long that constantly talking would have just drove each other nuts, so he just held her hand and listened to the radio all the way there.
It wasn't bad, but of course, the calm came to an end when they arrived, and this immediate overwhelming feeling washed over Stevie, who didn't expect to see a driveway full of cars.
"Look..." Lindsey nudged her arm lightly as soon as they stepped inside, where a ton of people- strangers to Stevie and Lindsey, were gathered. "Look at our girl." He added as he pointed across the living room, where Penny was.
She was standing by the coffee table, playing with some Barbie dolls while all the adults chatted around her... It was so busy, no one even realized that they had come through the door.
"Mama!" Penny shouted her name as soon as she saw her, leaving everything to hurry towards them.
She was in a pink tutu, blonde hair pulled up into two little clips and the most contagious smile on her face.... she was her parents entire world.
Stevie's heart melted, instantly dropping the bags to the floor as she sank down to be level with her baby. "Hi, my sweet girl." She held out her hands, tears rolling down her cheeks as Penny wrapped her arms around her neck for a hug. "I missed you so much." She whispered as a huge sigh of relief escaped her.
Penelope seemed happy and as her mother, that's all that mattered.
Lindsey bent down as well, one hand meeting Stevie's back as he leaned in to kiss the side of her head. "You're a good mom..."
