Penny read that letter ten times over; maybe even more, almost memorizing it word for word in the matter of just minutes... She soaked in every single detail, heart beating fast as her eyes filled with tears.
"Oh, my gosh." She mumbled, holding it in one hand as she began to pull open the drawers to her desk, rummaging through the a bunch of random junk she'd thrown in there along the way.
And then, put away at the very bottom was the old picture that she'd had forever. It was in a gold frame with Victorian accents around the edges and inside, protected by glass was the only photo she actually had of her mom.
Jess and Barbara had a million stashed away somewhere, but Penelope had always, always held on tight to that one.
It was the only one of all four of them that she'd ever seen- one where everyone actually seemed completely at peace, even though she was certain, in reality, there was chaos circulating on the other side of the lens.
But it was a picture that Barbara had taken on the morning Penny was born. She was brand new- wrapped up in a blanket laying on her mothers chest. And right next to Stevie with one arm wrapped around her and the other arm holding their son was Lindsey, who looked more proud than Penny had ever seen him... He was all smiles.
And she was beautiful.... the most stunning woman, even after seven hours of labor.
With a heavy sigh, Penelope flipped it over and carefully pulled the prongs back in order to slip the photo out of the frame.
"Oh..." She felt weak in the knees when her eyes met the penmanship on the back, tears rolling down her cheeks instantly.
My sweet Penelope,
I love you to the moon and back, forever and always.
~ your mama
It looked the exact same as the cursive in the letter and even though the picture did resemble the woman she'd met on her vacation, that was what did it for her... That was when she realized that she had, in fact spent the last couple of days with the woman that she'd yearned to have a relationship with her entire life.
"Penny?" Lindsey's voice is what brought her back to reality, literally causing her to jump. "Kid?" He repeated as his knuckles lightly met her bedroom door.
She quickly set the envelope and the picture back in her drawer, pushing it closed with one hand as she used the other to wipe the tears off her red cheeks. "What's up?" Penny wondered, looking at herself in the full length mirror to make sure she didn't seem as emotional as she felt... if anyone would be able to tell that something was on her mind, it would have been her father.
Lindsey cracked a smile when the door came open, eyes melting right into his favorite girls big brown saucers. "Dinner is ready and you know how your grandma feels about being late to the table." He raised a brow playfully, having gotten that lecture a million times.
Lindsey used to make the trip out to Arizona every Friday night for years and it was always very routine. He got out of work early- the band always knew that he had other obligations on the weekend and then he'd hit the road, arriving just before five. And it was almost the same every time, mainly because they wanted Penny to have a normal foundation... Barbara told him, from the start, right after Stevie left, that he was either going to be totally present, or be totally absent, but he couldn't be in and out of her life.
He wanted to be there every step of the way and he was, even if he was late some Friday nights, he still made it and usually, he got a good lecture from Barbara for making them wait at dinner time.
"Yeah," she forced a soft laugh as she slipped out of her room and into the hallway, where the sound of voices lingering from the kitchen grew apparent.
And suddenly, as she watched him lead the way down the stairs, she wondered what was running through his mind... He had just spent the week hanging out with the mother of his two children- the same woman who up and left them two decades earlier and he didn't say a word.
He didn't act weird, or angry, or annoyed... He just let Penelope go about getting to know Stevie under those circumstances and didn't even seem to bat an eye, not when she was around, at least.
"There's my sunshine." Barbara greeted them with a smile as soon as they made it to the last step, holding out a crystal glass of brown liquor for Lindsey. "Did you get some of your things unpacked?" She asked, creasing a brow when she realized that Penny was staring right at her.
But she couldn't stop thinking about the fact that she didn't catch on... How could she not feel it? How did she not realize that Stevie looked so much like Barbara, it was actually kind of crazy.
How was it possible that she spent that much time with Stevie and didn't even realize that it was the woman that had given her life.
She felt kind of like a fool and also a little let down at the same time...
"I did, yeah." Penelope assured as she wrapped her sweater around herself tight and stepped around them to get into the dining room, where Erin and Jess were already taking their seats at the long table.
Biting down on her bottom lip, the older woman's hand met his shoulder before he could travel any further. "Did something happen?" Barbara was speaking in a low tone of voice as she leaned into Lindsey to whisper.
He shrugged lightly, eyes following his daughter through the room as he thought about it for a second. "I don't think so."
~~~
Penny tried her best not to think about it, she really did, but it wasn't easy...
When she imagined what it would be like to see her mother for the first time in twenty years, she really thought there would be something magical that happened... Some instant connection and in a lot of ways, there ways, but it wasn't what she thought it would be.
She really didn't know what she was expecting and honestly, it kind of bothered her.
However, since Lindsey and Erin were only going to be in town for a couple more days, Penelope promised herself that she wouldn't focus primarily on that, even if it would be difficult...
But she also wanted to soak up the time she had with her dad, so they all chatted at dinner like normal and then even watched a movie in the living room before everyone went their separate ways for bed.
And once she was alone, tucked away into the safety of her room, Penny dialed the number that Stevie had written down.
