💙Waiting for us 💙 ~seungbin ~

🌊Oxygen 🌊

~seungmin pov~ 

 " you know pretty faces like yours shouldn't be crying " Changbin says closing the door and cupping my cheeks in his hands using his thumbs to wipe my tears my heart practically beats out my chest changbin suddenly picks me up from my legs and places me on the counter I gasp at the sudden action and he goes back to my cheeks and pecks my forehead 

" now tell me what's troubling you pup you never just cry like this after a successful practice are you ok? " he says and god if he only new how much I just wanted to break down and tell him everything how I wanted to tell him I can't be around him because my dame heart cant take not being with him and how I just wish he could kiss me and wash away all my regrets but I can't I can't do that because it can ruin everything right? I sniff and look him in the eyes 

" I-I don't know what's wrong I think I'm just happy and overwhelmed with how far we've come since we started this band and umm" stall say anything just don't let him know your real reason make something up please 

" umm my parents are fighting again that's all It wasn't bothering me when I left my house now it is I guess " I lied kind of my parents we're fighting when I left but they've been fighting for over 7 years now I'm used to it their fighting  sometimes changbin tilted his head and looks me in the eyes deeper 

" I don't believe you but if your not ready to tell me the real reason then I won't push it " he hugs me and then helps me off the counter " let's go we orders pizza " I smile and walk out with him wishing I could go back and cry my heart out 

When we finish it was around 11 at night so we all took camp at the studio we all slept in the living room like a sleep over I was laying next to changbin and the 00s when the Hyungs got up and went to a roll to 'gossip' and that's what me and the 00s did to 

~Changbin pov~ 

I sit on the bed with the rest of the thing line as they start asking me for details on what happened in the bathroom " ok ok changbin spill every detail what the heck is going on with you and seungmin lately and is my ship sailing " hyunjin screams and I just stare at him with a blank face " you sound like your boyfriend "

 he just smiled at me like he was proud I roll my eyes and just give in " fine  nothing happened not really I hear him crying so I might of kind of picked him up and put him on the course kissed his head and made him tell me what was wrong with him " I blush knowing now what I did the all start to squeal god they hang out with their boyfriends to much " poor Minnie he was probably trying so hard not to combust " Chan says and I smirk 

" I know he looked like he was going to fly away and pop any moment I was so close to kissing him if it wasn't for this stupid brain of mine " I wine and throw myself on the bed more " hey have you ever thought of just I don't know asking him out it's very clear that you like each other why hide it any longer there's no point in it 

" lee know says with a serious tone " I wish I could but I can't I really can't he's my Bestfriend and like a brother to me or at least he was like a brother to idk what to do anymore hes flooded every thought of my mind and I can't take it anymore " 

I say grabbing my hair and continue " I'm just so fucking scared what if we date and then he realizes we made a mistake and breaks up with me I can't handle that I can't lose him not ever he's like oxygen to me I can't live without him but my heart hurts every time I think about him because he can't be mine my heart breaks every time I see him talk to someone that isn't me and I can't do it anymore but then I get this reminder that I promise to never let anyone or anything to hurt him and I'm just so scared of it that I can't let myself just love him" as I say all this I can feel tears I try my best to hide it but it's no use I'm pulled into a hug 

" it's ok to let yourself if loving him is what you want then you should follow your heart that's what the group is about right following are hearts maybe instead of the music path you take the one where you let your heart decide if it's right if you let yourself just love him" Chan says I think about it for a second and nod maybe he's right it's time for me to let my gard down