Chapter 22. Hopeless

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It was one of the most painful nights of my life. The darkness enveloped me like a suffocating shroud as I sat huddled on my bed, tears streaming down my cheeks unabated. The weight of each teardrop felt like a burden, too heavy to bear. They cascaded from my eyes onto the bruises that marred my skin, painful reminders that had been left behind Blaine's wrath.

It had been three days since my husband caught me at the party. He brought me home after that encounter. I tried to fight back, hurling every curse word I could muster at him, all the while seething with the anger that had been building up for so long. Nothing could quell my burning desire to break free from his hold. I knew what to do since Courtney accepted me as part of them. I had to leave this nightmare behind. I don't want to be a prisoner again. I don't want to be controlled or tortured by Blaine anymore. I wanted freedom. That's what I've learned from Courtney— the very first man who made me believe that despite the misery, there would always be an exit toward a new future filled with not-so-perfect but better things. It just happened that mine ended in a short time.

However, in my desperate attempts to escape from the clutches of my husband, things only seemed to spiral out of control. It felt like a twisted game of cat and mouse, with me constantly on the losing end. The more I fought, the harder it got for me to find a way out when he would hit me in different ways, leaving me battered and bruised. It was a cycle that never seemed to end, a never-ending loop of suffering. And I can tell he never changes because there will always be another bruise waiting for me in every defiance.

It was midnight by the time I sat up in bed, only to feel the fresh bruise Blaine gave me from my last outburst. As much as I wanted to ignore and push away the ache in my abdomen, it seemed to have become too big to deal with right now.
I stood up and grabbed the bottle of water sitting on the nightstand before striding in front of my mirror, which had my bruised reflection staring back at me. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked into my eyes.

Again, Courtney's image came to my mind—from the first time our eyes met. How he let me hide in his house and saved me from my husband was the kindest thing anybody ever did for me. Not many people could even begin to do that. Even the memories of us in a shooting range with weapons training were still fresh in my mind. But those memories gave me a sudden pain, knowing he was not around.

I was in deep thought when the door creaked open, revealing the man who had invaded my life.

Blaine paced, his footsteps echoing off the cold stone walls. His eyes bore into mine, a twisted mix of nonsensical obsession and entitlement. He believed that fate had bound us together, that my existence was merely an extension of his filthy desires.

Again, I turned around and faced the mirror to see my reflection. He clapped his hands five times and halted behind me.

"I never thought you would cry for a man who is not me. How romantic, Adeleine," He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Our paths are intertwined. You were meant to serve me, to obey my rules, and to be mine forever."

"You're sick," I replied with a steady voice. I looked at him through the mirror, giving him a disgusting look. "I am not bound to anyone. Not by fate, not by your twisted beliefs. Not by your fucking moolah."

He stepped closer to mine, his hand gripping my arm. "Pathetic. You think you can defy me?" He moved his face closer to my ear. "I can do anything I want. Bend you to my will if I want to. Do you know how dangerous that could be?"

With so much bravery, I spun around and distanced myself before facing him straight. I held my head high, meeting him halfway. "That's what an arrogant person thinks when they underestimate people around them." I sneered. "But I've faced monsters far worse than you, Blaine. You're nothing."

His face scrunched up in annoyance, and the veins on his forehead pulsed. "You dare to challenge me, huh? Do you really think that man will save you after the lies I've spilled?"

I wanted to punch him straight in the face but knew I had to maintain my composure. Instead of letting my outburst consume me, I grinned evilly, showing him I was no longer scared. I've been tortured more than anyone could ever imagine. I had faced down darkness before. But I survived. "I've endured pain and humiliation. Yet here I am, still breathing." I stepped forward, not removing my eyes from him. "You may control this room, but you don't own me!"

As soon as those words left my mouth, I felt a strange confidence. It felt so good to be free, to stand up for myself instead of cowering in fear. After all those years of being afraid and controlled, it was great to finally get to be strong, not weak. However, I have to admit that pain and exhaustion still weigh on me now.

Courtney's face hardened. He reached out his hand towards me, grabbing me by the neck of my shirt and yanking me closer to him. His eyes flashed with fury, and his grip tightened painfully, cutting into my skin. "You're crazy to think your words matter to me. You will submit to me whether you like it or not! And that is my command!"

He then pulled my hair enough to make me whimper as pain flared through my scalp. He pushed me further against the mirror, my face touching the cold, hard surface. "Look at your face! No one will come for you. And you saw it, Adeleine. He did nothing to save you because he doesn't really care. You're just nothing but a toy and I'm telling you we have no difference!"

Tears started to descend again from my eyes. Those words he said felt like a knife twisting in my gut. They hurt more than the beating of his fist over my face. He was so right, though. The world was made up of cruel people who cared only about themselves. My mind has returned to the scenario from three days ago. He did nothing to save me.

The remaining hope began to fade away, along with the last bit of willpower left within me.

How am I supposed to believe everything will be fine when the man who gave me hope is gone?

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