Passion and Power

Chapter 42

After Hanni dashed out for practice, Minji reached for her phone to text Hyein about arranging her flight back to Seoul, then rolled over to bury her face in Hanni's pillow. Not knowing when she would see her again, she wanted to soak up her scent while she still could.

Her feelings and thoughts were at war with her alpha, which was instinctively rejoicing at the thought that Hanni could be pregnant. At the same time her brain was working double overtime thinking of all the possible scenarios. If she was pregnant, what would the hormones do to her play? Minji decided to research medical journals to see if there had been any studies or anecdotal evidence about what to expect. Most people didn't even know they were pregnant until past the first month, so Minji knew there wouldn't be much information out there. They would just have to hope for the best.

Her mind raced past what could happen during the Cup, win or lose - if she was pregnant, would Hanni want to stay pregnant? The thought caused her stomach to roll with panic, mixed with excitement. And the most looming question in the back of her mind, if Hanni did want to have a baby, what would that mean for her career? She was on the edge of what was probably the pinnacle of her success - not only of being in top form as an athlete, but at the height of her 'bankability' as an star and the opportunity at parlaying her success into sponsorships and setting herself up to have a sustainable career. All that could be at stake.

The question Minji tried not to think about at all was how she herself felt about the idea. The timing was terrible, but what if Hanni was pregnant and wanted to have a baby, what would that mean for Minji? How would she fit into the picture? Did she want a baby? All her thinking ultimately led to a deep feeling of guilt for putting Hanni into this position. She wished there was a way to take away her burden of worry.

All her thoughts, emotions, and instincts conflicted and kept cycling through her head until she finally drifted off to sleep. She was exhausted, having only slept fitfully in the few hours they had together before Hanni had to leave that morning. When she woke up again it was after 10 am, and she was happy to see Hyein had been able to get her flight set up for early afternoon. She packed quickly and made her way to the airport. She decided she was better off eating on her own jet than at the hotel. On her ride there she got a call from Haerin.

"What the hell, Minji? I thought we were going out last night?"

"Sorry for disappearing Haerin. Didn't you get my text?"

"Sure, I got a very mysterious text canceling - with no explanation!"

Minji took a deep breath. "It's a long story. Danielle didn't say anything?"

"Danielle and I haven't had much of a chance to talk. You know I'm in California now. And she seems to be pretty absorbed in whatever the hell is going on with your girlfriend." Haerin said, sounding concerned. "How about you tell me? Maybe I can help."

Minji knew she could trust Haerin, and that Danielle would probably tell her soon anyway. She knew she needed to talk to someone. She gave Haerin a quick download of the past two days.

"You haven't done anything wrong, Minji." Haerin said after Minji finally finished her rambling explanation.

"If I haven't, then why is she in his situation?"

"You're both in this situation. Don't pretend like this doesn't affect you."

Minji looked out the window of the car. "Of course it does! But Hanni is the one that I'm worried about."

"Sorry, just...this may be affecting you more than you realize. And that's OK."

"Thanks, Haerin." Minji could feel her eyes welling with tears. "It helps a bit just to talk about it." Minji closed her eyes and fought back her emotion. "It's so hard to just...leave her here. With all she has to deal with. Alone to worry about what comes next..."