drifted | M.R.

008 | when is it gonna be normal again?

trigger warning: drinking, talk of self harm 
word count: 895

She didn't know what to do anymore. So she sat in bed once again and stared at the ceiling, re-playing every memory she had with any of her friends, even friends she didn't talk to anymore, even friends who where no longer her friends. 

She didn't realize how precious these memories where until she lost her baby. She wanted to cry and scream at Mattheo for not being there for her but, he wasn't there. But she also knew he dealt with how he felt very differently. When he felt something he would shut himself off from the world and not speak to anyone. That was before he met Brooke because once he met her, he opened up and let her hold him when he cried.

He let her calm him down from a panic attack and he hadn't ever let anyone do that. At first, that was what scared him. The feeling of being loved by someone and then them leaving. But this time, it was he who was leaving because Brooke was right where she had been left. Brooke stayed staring at the ceiling when a knock echoed through the room due to nothing going on within the walls. 

She didn't say anything and the doors opened by themselves, revealing a certain chocolate haired boy, one she definitely did not want to see at the moment. He tried to smile but all he saw was a broken girl and what hurt him more was the fact that he had caused that girl most of the pain. 

"Brooke?" the girl, once again, didn't respond and continued staring at the wall like they were having an intense staring contest. "Look, I know I fucked up bu-" Before he could finish he was cut off. 

"Mattheo....leave." The girl whispered and it took her so much to say. If she had it the way she wanted she would've already been curled up in his arms. 

"What? I know wasn't here but I wanna be here now." He said with a frown as he sat down by the girls covered legs. She sat up, her eyes filling with tears.

"Mattheo I fucking needed you- hell I sill do! Don't you understand a baby fucking died inside me! That hurts to think about and I needed you! I needed you and where the fuck where you?!" The girl broke into a sobbing mess, catching the attention of the group downstairs. Enzo rushed up and everyone followed closely behind. 

"I know but I wanna be here now!" Enzo rushed and when he saw the boy sitting on the bed, his blood started to boil. He grabbed Mattheo and pulled him out of the bedroom. He made sure he was away from the girl and then let his grip on the boy go. 

"Leave her alone for now, Mattheo."

"But I don't wanna leave her alone!" Tears where forming in the boy's eyes and all he wanted to do was hold the girl and hold her so tight all her stresses and worries would disappear. Before Enzo could respond Daphne stormed out with Belle by her side, rage evident on both of their faces. 

"Oh you fucker!" Belle said as she walked up to Mattheo, slapping him across the face. Enzo felt his eyes go wide in shock but he couldn't say he blamed her. 

"I'm gonna fucking kill you," Daphne said with not only rage now but a violence in her eyes that it kinda scared the boys. She was always the nice one of the group and seeing her so mad was a little scary. 

"You caused her to relapse!" Theodore yelled as he walked away from the bedroom, pushing Mattheo against the closest wall. 

"Relapse? What do you-" He cut himself off because he knew what he meant. He shook his head, tears falling from his eyes. "No," he whispered. 

"You're pushing her away when she needs you. I thought you said you would always be there for her?" Theodore said with a scoff. "Where the hell is that promise you made?"

"Everyone stop!" Mattheo said as he put his hands on his temple, everything once again becoming to much. "She relapsed because of me."

"Not only because of you but because of the guilt she feels for losing your baby." Belle said with tears in her eyes, remembering the broken girl who was now peacefully sleeping in the bed. Theodore told Draco to stay with her in case she had a nightmare of something. 

"How did you guys find out? That she relapsed, I mean." Mattheo asked the group.

"When she was crying we saw the cut marks and we didn't have to ask, we just knew. Her long sleeves lifted up and that was how we saw." Daphne answered for the boy. Mattheo let out a small sob, falling to the ground as he cried. He was never one to show emotion but he just couldn't hold it in anymore. 

"She would stay up late talking to me some nights about what she wanted for your guys' future. It was the only time she would smile." Belle said as she tried to tuck herself into Enzo. It only made the boy sob louder, his heart hurting more and shattering more. 

One thing he wondered was, how the fuck will he keep his girl?