drifted | M.R.

023 | together

trigger warning: talk of suicide
word count: 712

The room went silent, the air still.

Mattheo yawned and rubbed his eyes before prying then open, his chocolate hues shining. He looked around the room before his eyes landed on the girl. Tears coated them, his body visibly starting to shake.

"Brooke...?" He stood up, everyone around them smiling softly. She nodded slightly, tears falling from both of their eyes. He let out a loud sob, standing right next to her bed. Her arms opened, making him reach down and tuck his head into her neck. His grip on the girl tightened, making her let out another loud sob.

They hadn't hugged like this in almost 2 months.

Her arms were wrapped around his neck, tightening. She didn't wanna ever let him go. "I really-" His voice broke, letting out a loud sob. "I really thought you died." He sobbed hard, his body shaking.

"I'm here, I'm here." She kept repeating it over and over again. Everyone gave a gentle smile, walking out of the room. They wanted to give them their space so they left. Mattheo pulled away, his eyes red and tired.

"What- Why?" A gentle cry left his lips. "Why would you do this to yourself?"

"Because.." She looked down and picked at her nails. He sat down next to her, taking her hands into his. "Because I don't wanna be here anymore. I am losing you and I feel so guilty for losing Mila-" She was cut off before she could finish.

"You are not responsible. It just...didn't work out. And it hurts, it hurts so bad, but it will be okay. Sure we drifted a little, but I wasn't going anywhere." He said, deciding to leave out the part where he was questioning whether or not to leave.

"But I am- If I just talked to you about my stress then we wouldn't be in this spot." He shook his head.

"Love, you grew up without a good family. It makes sense you didn't talk to me. Just like I didn't talk to you. We both messed up. But what matters is that we are here, right now." He smiled gently, hope filling his eyes.

"But- you had no one and I should've-" He shook his head once again, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, letting it linger there. When he pulled away he let his forehead rest on hers.

"It's okay baby. You had to deal with your problems and I'm so so sorry I wasn't there. Just focus on getting better, I'll be here every single step of the way." He smiled, pressing another kiss to her forehead. Her eyes shut, smiling.

Home.

That was the only word she could describe for this moment. It was the only word she was thinking about. She patted the spot next to her and scooted to the side. He smiled and got into the empty space, pulling the girl to his chest.

Home.

That was the only way he could describe this moment. He felt safe and happy. He hadn't felt like this in forever. He felt amazing knowing his girl was in his arms. He failed at protecting her once and he wouldn't let it happen again.

He held her tightly. When he found out she had tried killing herself, his whole world fell to millions of pieces. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he was gonna do because his whole life surrounded this one girl.

When he woke up, he thought of her.

When he went to bed, he thought of her.

When he was cleaning, he thought of her.

He was always thinking of her. And it broke him to know she didn't wanna be here so badly that she would go to the extent of killing herself. It opened his eyes. It told him he needed to be there, that he needed to allow her to help him too.

It made him sad, thinking about nights where she was crying and shaking, not knowing what to do. It made him want to cry, but he didn't wanna disturb the calm girl that was laying on him.

He held like if he let go she would disappear.