drifted | M.R.

021 | hospital

trigger warning: panic attack
word count: 870

It had been a week.

A week of constant pain.

Mattheo never left the hospital room once, he was running off 2 hours of sleep. He was scared that she would wake up when he was asleep or she would die and he wouldn't be able to say goodbye. His eyes were bloodshot, the tiredness in his eyes became evident. Belle would stay there most of the time, but Enzo would force her out.

The boy didn't have that. Well he did, but the person who cared for him most was currently laying on a hospital bed with tubes poking in and out of her body. When he was alone, he'd cry. He'd cry so hard that sometimes he thought his lungs would collapse.

His hand hadn't let go of hers. Not once. He kept it there and squeezed it when all he wanted was a simple touch. The doctors and nurses said she was fine. You could clearly see her chest moving up and down.

It was just a waiting game of when her eyes would be open. That's if everything kept going the way it was. Belle was sitting in the room with the boy. She was staring at Brooke and Mattheo was staring at her stomach, just in his head.

He barely even noticed the door to the room opening.

In walked Theodore, a small sad smile laid softly on his lips. It was hurting him just as much, but he pushed his feelings away, wanting to solely focus on the brown haired boy. Everyone had gotten their notes, except the boy who refused to leave her side.

Theodore knew it was time to give it to him, but he doesn't wanted to be the one to do it. So he did what he usually did and sat down next to the boy, placing the note in his lap. Belle's eyes widened and tears coated it. Of course no one had read his but they all knew wit would break the broken boy more.

When Mattheo saw the handwriting on the front he knew what it was and a loud sob escaped his throat. He refused to move his hand but he wanted to tear it and throw it and burn it. He looked up at Theodore, not knowing what to do. He nodded softly. So, for the first time, he let her hand go.

He picked up the letter that laid in his lap, opening it gently. Tears were already falling from his eyes and as he continued to read the letter, sobs echoed the silent room. His body shook, starting to choke on his own sobs. He looked up at the girl, just wanting to hold her. He just wanted her to wake up. He wanted her to look at him with her dewy eyes.

He let the letter fall back onto his lap and re-connected their hands, his thumb gently rubbing the back of her hand. Belle let out a sob, watching her. They didn't know what to say. Theodore was pulling the crying boy to him and just held him, wishing he could give him the comfort he needed.

But he wasn't Brooke.

"I just-" He choked on his own sob once again, feeling the air in his lungs being taken out. "I just want- her!" He was crying so hard he couldn't even breathe. Belle shook her head, cries leaving her throat. She wrapped the blanket around her thin body and walked out of the room, wanting the comfort of her own boyfriend.

"Mattheo, you need to breathe." He shook his head, his breaths coming out short and rigid. He put a hand to his heart, patting it to say the things he couldn't. The world slowly began to close in on him.

What if she doesn't wake up?
What if everyone blames me?
What if she dies?
I did this.
What if I lost her and my kid?

The thoughts made him go crazy. He was struggling to breathe, patting his chest franticly. Theodore put his hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look at him in the eyes. "Breathe, you're making it worse for yourself. You're safe, Brooke is safe, Mila is safe. Brooke is breathing, Mattheo. Shes breathing."

A tiny small went to Theodore's lips towards the end, also reminding himself that she was breathing. Mattheo's body was still shaking but his breaths were slowly coming back to his lungs. His eyes were falling shut, exhausted from the panic attack.

"Go to sleep, man. I'll watch over her, I promise." He shook his head, prying his eyes open. "Go to sleep. You know I'll protect her." He looked up at his best friend and nodded softly, not being able to fight the sleepiness anymore. Theodore smiled softly, his eyes resting on the girl in the hospital bed.

It was only 10 minutes after he had fallen asleep, that her eyes slowly opened.

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IM SORRY FOR THE CLIFFHANGER! (I'm definitely not. Thank Eeyoremylove for this one. payback is a bitch🤭)

I'm thinking about writing a book about my life/how it has been. I was wondering if you'd wanna see that.