Slipping - The story of Azula

Chapter 1 - Unexpected Visitor

"Azula. Wake up. Wake up, Azula."

"Mother?" Azula jolts up at the feeling of someone shaking her awake and the sound of her mother's voice echoing in her ears. She looks around, but does not see her mother; only the nurse with her hand on Azula's shoulder. Azula shrugs the nurse's hand off her body and looks away, embarrassed at her sudden outburst.

The nurse looks at Azula with an unfeeling expression on her face as she is used to Azula calling for her mother whom has been missing for years. "Azula, you have a visitor."

Azula, too defiant to look back at the nurse, responds quietly, but intrigued, "Who has come to grace me with their presence?" She had not had any visitors since the infamous Agni Kai with her brother, Zuko. Her heart beats with hopefulness, but she is too prideful to show it.

"It's the Fire Lord, Zuko," The nurse said, "he would like a word with you."

Azula winces at the mention of his name and she immediately assumes he is here with an agenda or ill-intentions, "What does that little traitor want with me? If he's here to rub his new title in my face, I don't want to see him."

The nurse sighs. She is over Azula's defiance, "I don't want to have to remind you again that he is the Fire Lord. I don't care if he is your brother, you have to be on your best behavior; he was the one who graciously admitted you to this asylum instead of imprisoning you. I advise you to listen to what he has to say and not put up a fight." She wheels in a wheelchair and unstraps Azula from her bed.

A sense of dread washes over Azula as she realizes she will be seeing Zuko again. While a part of her hopes that he has come to see her out of genuine brotherly love, her brain tells her that the new Lord probably just came to see her out of pure curiosity and to scoff at her weakened state. Her heart sinks as she thinks about how she must be looking after years of being in the asylum; how the powerful and perfect princess Azula could have fallen this far.

Azula grumbles under her breath as the nurse straps her into the chair. She hates when people order her around like this, like she is beneath them. No one is above her, not even her brother. "I am Princess Azula, daughter of the most powerful man in the world, and I do not care to be treated like some petulant child." As the nurse ignores her curses and wheels her out into the visiting room, Azula struggles to maintain her composure.

As she enters the room, she is surprised to see Zuko alone and not escorted by Fire Nation entourage. She remains silent, choking back her insults and looks up at her brother waiting for him to speak first.

Zuko approaches Azula while taking in his younger sister's appearance which has certainly changed since their last encounter. Despite her sunken cheeks and disheveled hair, there is still a fierce intensity in her eyes that reminds him of the powerful firebender she once was.

Zuko takes a deep breath, and his expression softens as he speaks. "Azula..."

Azula looks up at Zuko with a mix of trepidation and vulnerability in her gaze. She can feel her heart racing in her chest; she had never had a visitor before. She is surprised that her brother came to see her, but she quickly shakes off her hope knowing that he is probably just here to rub salt in her wounds.

"What do you want, Zuzu? I'm sure you're not here to catch up." she manages to speak, her voice cracking slightly. Her attempt at a witty insult fails as her confidence falters when she meets her brother's eyes. She tries to look strong and in power over her brother, but she shirks under his gaze.

Zuko sits down in front of Azula, his expression solemn. "I know you must be wondering why I'm here," he said softly. "But I want you to know that I've been thinking a lot about you since I became Fire Lord." He takes a deep breath before continuing, the weight of his words heavy on his chest. "I realize that our childhood was not easy, and how our father treated us caused us a lot of pain and resentment." As he spoke, he took hold of Azula's shoulder, hoping to offer some sort of familial comfort. She gives him an envious glance; the only power she has over him is in her eyes and words as she is restrained by a straitjacket. He sees this and removes his hand.

Azula's heart aches as she listens to her brother intently. She never thought she'd hear him say something like that. A part of her couldn't believe what she was hearing, but she remained guarded. "What are you getting at, Zuzu?" she responds.

Zuko takes a deep breath, trying to keep his own emotions in check. "I wanted to say that I understand how our father hurt us, not just me, but you too. He pitted us against each other, and it drove us apart."

Azula doesn't understand what he is getting at, and soon starts to lose interest. "If you're just here to get ooey-gooey with me then you can do me a favor and leave me to rot in here. Talk to your fat little uncle if you just wanted to vent. It's really not a good look for you, getting all soft." She really didn't want to listen to him because being in this asylum had given her years to ponder over her childhood and relationship with her brother, and his words felt like a lightning bolt to her heart.

Zuko ignores her callous response, knowing that it's her way of protecting herself from the pain that she feels. "I don't want to leave you here to suffer. I want to help you, Azula."

Azula looks up for a second, her eyes filled with hope, but quickly looks away, not daring to succumb to her longing emotions, "Oh, sure. You said that last time and look where I am." She gestures to the room around her, "There is nowhere else you can put me. I am a sick monster. Stop mocking me and leave me alone."

Zuko clenches his fists tightly, "I am the only person in the world who can fully understand your pain and I am truly here to help." He doesn't know what else he could say to get her to listen and care for what he is saying, so he just cuts to the chase, "I want to take you back home."

Azula's eyes widened in shock at her brother's words, "You... you want to bring me back home with you? How do I know this isn't a ploy to put me in another room all secluded?" She was too stubborn to submit to her brother's commands, but her heart was screaming at her to accept his offer.

"I have been in contact with the nurses and they have just seen you spiral into more madness as the days have gone by. Your hallucinations are fueled by trauma and letting you live here is clearly not doing you any favors."

All of her past at the hospital came flooding back to her in one giant wave. Her hope was crushed in one fell swoop. She started screaming and thrashing, "How could you say that! You think I am crazy. To think I trusted you for a second; I should not have been so weak to believe a snake like you. I am not a schizophrenic! GET HIM OUT OF MY SIGHT." She falls out of her chair and curls up into a pathetic ball of angry sobs.

Zuko shakes his head and sadly looks at her sister descending into madness. "She's not ready." He turns around and without even a glance back and leaves the room as Azula is pinned down by the nurses and injected with drugs to put her to sleep.

As the drugs work quickly and her vision blurs, she watches as Zuko leaves the room. Her eyes filled with tears as she realized she turned away her only hope at freedom. But how could she ever be free while trapped in her own mind? As Zuko left, she realized she damned herself to an eternity alone with only her thoughts to keep her company... and her mother.