Slipping - The story of Azula

Chapter 2 - Swallow Your Pride

Ever since she had seen her mother in the mirror the day of her coronation, her mind was plagued by similar visions each day following. All she ever wanted in life was her mother's love and approval, but before she could ever get her hands on it, her mother vanished. She acted like she didn't care, but in truth, it hurt her deeply. She suffered in silence for years, only focused on being heir to the throne and making her father proud. Azula knows that her mother had been wishing for Azula's downfall since the day she was born, but she spent years questioning why. Why couldn't she ever please her and make her proud? Why did she hate her so much? These questions ate at her like a disease and sent her spiraling into a lonely abyss.

"I'm a monster. I am weak." She repeated these "affirmations" while staring into the mirror. Once a beautiful princess, now just another psych ward patient. Her hair was unkempt and oily, her face pallid, her lips cracked, and her voice raspy. Her eyes were sunken in and blood shot, a reminder of her countless, sleepless nights.

"Snap out of it!" She hissed through gritted teeth, her breath quickening as she tried to shake off the rage simmering inside her. Tears fell into her lap as she looked down. "Weak." She wasn't proud of what she became, but she knew it was her mother's fault.

"You were so pretty, Azula." Azula's head snapped up, catching her mother's loving gaze in the mirror.

"Are you here to mock me again?" Azula's eyes burned with vengeance.

"No, Azula, I am worried about you."

"No you're not!" she cried, clenching her jaw.

"Azula, you need to take care of yourself. Remember what is best for you and never be prideful; everyone needs help sometimes."

"AHHHHHHHHHH." Azula screamed. She started to thrash and jerk in her straitjacket. "Leave me alone! Leave me! Go!" She squeezed her eyes shut as the nurses held her down.

"Azula! It's not good for you to be looking in the mirror, we told you this."

"What do you know about what's good for me?" She sneered, opening her eyes again. Her mother was gone. "Did you catch her? Did you tell her to leave me alone?" She looked hopefully around to the nurses.

The nurses ignore her words and continue to restrain her and administer a sedative. They leave the room without so much as a "good night" or "feel better."

Azula lay on her bed, her mind racing with thoughts of her mother and Zuko. She spent the night alone, as she had all the nights prior, crying to herself. She hated this weakness in her, but was too exhausted to care anymore. As dawn approached, her mother's words echoed in her mind. Azula always met her mother's words with defiance, but now, after Zuko's visit, she wondered if her only chance at freedom was to listen to her mother's advice; her mother had been the reason she was admitted to this ward in the first place.

The words, "don't be too prideful," rung in her ears.