Until the End || Levi x Reader Insert Fanfiction

Ch 31- To Continue Onward

(Warnings: Descriptions of Injury, Blood, Death, Canonical Violence)

You gasp out, your eyes shoot open, and you feel the pounding of your heart inside your head. Your distorted vision blurs as cold harsh rain falls onto you. Your lungs constrict, and then your memories flow back to you. Panic and dread fill you, sweat consumes your body and your breathing becomes ragged as you force yourself up. Levi... You find yourself on your hands and knees groaning at every movement, feeling your warm blood trickling from your head, splattering down to your hands. You were intact, but Levi's harsh push as he forced you away along with the blast of the Thunder Spear had caused a great impact on your body. You shook your head, as tears started to fill your eyes, biting your lip to prevent a shout of pain, as you unsteadily forced yourself to move.

You crawled forward as mud seeped through your clothes and the mere wind threatened to push you back down. Your still-contorted vision fought the darkness that taunted your consciousness. Pain rippled from your chest, soaking into your muscles and burns that seared against the constant rain, but you still forced yourself onward. Your injuries would heal in good time... it was the least of your worries. But if you stopped now, you would never forgive yourself. You pushed on and on, looking up only to see the smoke that still lingered from the piles of wood that now replaced the cart. Your eyes moved. Your heart thrummed. You froze at the sight of two familiar forms burnt and silent, lying on the ground.

[h/n]...

You let out a cry of agony as you forced yourself to your feet and stumbled to your horse that lay motionlessly next to Levi's. You find yourself falling once again but you move to her side. Her white mane is charred, her blood trickling and tinting the brown of her hair, usually wide and excited eyes half closed. 'No...' You shake your head as tears now pour from your eyes looking to your horse, to your comrade, to your best friend. She had been with you since the beginning, been there through all your losses, a constant comforting presence... now lost to you. 'No... no no no no...' "[H/N]!!" You yell out as you go to shake her withered form, see if somehow, she is alive, but you know better. You cried out as your voice started to crack at the unbelievable grief that tore through your heart. "[h/n]..." Your tears flowed as shaky hands raked through the remnants of her mane, you so lost in your grief.

'Please no... not her.'

You have lost your family, you have lost Furlan and Isabel, your squad, Sasha, Erwin, countless comrades, and now [h/n]. Your eyes then travel to Levi's horse and you were filled with such loss you could not speak of it. Bobby... You remember the joy and the time spent on your horses side-by-side. The laughter of your special operations squad as you announced proudly that you had named Levi's horse. Your wedding as they lay in the shade looking to you being vowed to the man you loved. Every mission and every trial without fail they had lived and they had been loyal; they had been your friend.

You just can't take anymore.

As you finally release your hold on [h/n] for the last time, your dull eyes move slowly across the drenched terrain around you. You know you should be overcome with anticipation with the want to find your husband, the only person who had been strong enough to overcome these losses with you... the only one strong enough to stay by your side. But you realise with a sinking feeling in your heart, that you're scared. No... You're terrified of what you might find. Because if he is lost to you... you would lose yourself too. You wouldn't be able to overcome this. You're scared to be left alone, you want to die, you want to run away. But inadvertently your eyes choose to find him anyway. They choose to find your love, your lifeline... but the sinking feeling in your heart only deepens, only makes you want to vomit and die more.