Love and Gales of song, please guide me through the storm [Hold]

Announcement

Hi Everyone!

As for today, I'll be putting my stories on hold for while. It been crazy at work especially taking care of infants and it not that I didn't want to update my stories, it makes me less energetic and a little lazy because taking care of infants aren't easy and maybe it made feel anxious.

I even had a mental breakdown one day because one of the directors, who happened to be sister of the head director, wasn't as much help when my co-teacher was out and I was doing most of the hard work. I broke down in my car for lunch and it wasn't because of work it was because I forgot to heat up my burrito and it got me to be grounded and cry out of frustration for forgetting to heating up my burrito and for me doing the work. Now, we're getting more infants. It made me think about my life and my life choices. I do plan on try to update my stories, but now my family and I are dealing with something.......difficult.

My brother have cancer (Lymphoma) at the age of 18, it's shocking, heartbreaking, and sad, but the good news is that he'll be getting treatment soon, lymphoma is curable, and we got to it before it gotten worse. My brother will be getting more appointments and every two week of chemo. He'll be cured, but it will be hard. My brother is being himself and positive, but I don't know if at night he thinks about it. I don't know what he thinks, but he's okay. He still sweat at nights, have red spots, and itches, I don't know how to help or anything, but I do want to support him as any way I can. He's my brother and I love him. I do feel a bit distant because I don't want to feel any pain if anything happens. I literally don't want to feel like I'm weak or useless to not do anything for him.

Just now, I started to tear up...........I just wanted to let you all know why I'm holding my stories on hold. I know it been awhile since I published or updated my stories and said my reasons before....it sounds like excuses.....but a lot is going on. I don't know how to help my mom or be there for her because she said we just gotta live our lives and take it step by step. I agree, but....it not gonna be easy. The only good way I would feel better is that the Lymphoma is curable, treatable, we found it easy, and it's not aggressive.

I truly hope and believe that my brother will be okay, but like I said earlier it won't be easy. I don't want to feel useless. I know I'm rambling and I apologize for that. My head is off. I feel distant of my emotions as well and I don't want that. I might be here to update my stories again to clear my head or to be grounded, but I don't know.

Anyway, I hope everyone understands and know I still plan on writing my stories. My love for it haven't changed and will miss it. Love you all and hope to see you all again. I'll pray that my brother will be cure sooner and that his scan results show that the cancer hasn't spread.

Thank you 🙏🏽