Harry went down to breakfast the next morning to find the three Dursleys already sitting around the kitchen table. They were watching television, Dudley's piggy little eyes fixed on the screen and his five chins wobbling as he ate continually.
"Oh my godric!" Barty sprawled over Evan. "The horror!"
"Get off me," Evan shoved the boy. "They do look disgusting."
"How is that child still alive?" Madam Pomfrey tutted.
"The real question is why isn't Dudley Dursley diabetic," Enola said.
Harry sat down between Dudley and Vernon. none of the Dursleys made any sign that they had noticed Harry enter the room. He helped himself to a piece of toast and then looked up at the reporter on the television, who was halfway through a report on an escaped convict:
"... The public is warned that Black is armed and extremely dangerous. A special hotline has been set up, and any sighting of Black should be reported immediately."
"I'm a wanted man," Sirius grinned.
"That's impossible, you weren't even a wanted child," Regulus scoffed.
"No need to tell us he's no good," snorted Vernon, staring over the top of his newspaper at the prisoner. "Look at the state of him, the filthy layabout! Look at his hair!" He shot a nasty look sideways at Harry.
"Oh fuck!" Marlene laughed. "Your hair!?"
"I spent twelve years in Azkaban, give me a break!" Sirius argued.
The reporter had reappeared. "The Ministry of Agriculture and Fisheries will announce today --"
"Hang on!" barked Vernon, staring furiously at the reporter. "You didn't tell us where that maniac's escaped from! What use is that? Lunatic could be coming up the street right now!"
"Not yet," Harry shook his head. "Give it a week though."
Petunia whipped around and peered intently out of the kitchen window. "When will they learn," said Vernon, pounding the table with his large purple fist, "that hanging's the only way to deal with these people?"
"Hanging?" Blaise questioned.
"Like Sarah Fier," Manaia nodded.
"Who?" Narcissa frowned.
"Doesn't matter. They used to hang people for witchcraft also known as homosexuality," Hazel explained.
"Very true," said Petunia, who was still squinting into next door's runner beans.
Vernon drained his teacup, glanced at his watch, and added, "I'd better be off in a minute, Petunia. Marge's train gets in at ten."
Ron grinned. "We'll get to see it!" He cheered
"See what?" James asked
"Nobody spoil it, I want to see the pride on his face," Halley ordered
"Aunt Marge?" Harry blurted out. "Sh -- she's not coming here, is she?"
"Marge'll be here for a week," Vernon snarled, and while we're on the subject" -- he pointed a fat finger threateningly at Harry -- "we need to get a few things straight before I go and collect her."
Dudley smirked and withdrew his gaze from the television.
"Time for the 'yelling at Harry' show," harry rolled his eyes. "Favourite freaking show."
YOU ARE READING
MAGIC AND MYSTERY
FanfictionHermione Granger has a secret. She is the daughter of Bellatrix Black, and a member of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black However, one day, movies arrive in the great hall depicting her alter life as Enola Holmes and the secret starts to unra...
