All For Her

An Alliance Made Between A Snake And A Lion.

(John realizes somethings wrong with him, Zeke is a prick, Cecile is here too.)

John was starting to realize something else was wrong with him. Now, you might be asking, "What else could this heartless creature possibly have wrong with him now?"

His thoughts were getting more violent.

Now, when it comes to something like himself, if you knew about his past, you would think that was normal for him to think violently. Though, even back then that idea wouldn't be true, considering that most of his violent outbursts where he'd beat the shit out of any poor unfortunate soul who dared to even glance at him wrong was all done purposely without his thoughts matching his actions. Back then, he just thought that maybe causing others harm would eventually make him feel some sort of guilt or shame, though those feelings never came.

But these thoughts aren't the regular type of violent that he would usually think whenever he thought someone was wronging his Savior or ruining his time with her. They were brutal, more descriptive, and graphic without him even trying to think that way.

An example could be this morning. He was getting his lunch while Sera was already at the rooftop waiting for him, and he remembered his daydream about what type of wedding dress his Savior might like being interrupted by a girl who was giggling at something the others around her said before she openly declared, "Seraphina's fallen so far off that she's willing to be friends with a fucking Cripple, of course I don't respect her! Honestly, if it weren't for the fact that she's so powerful, I would love to just smash her ugly face into the dirt, y'know what I mean?" The rest of the group laughed with her.

He remembered a burning feeling of hatred sizzling in his heart, and he remembered the thoughts that came after it...

He wanted to tear that disgusting tongue right out of the girl's mouth. He wanted to bend her jaw back so far that it snapped and ripped her lower jaw off, and he wanted to rip out the girls vocal chords and make her chew and swallow every bit of it for even daring to say such things about his precious Savior!

... In the end, his thoughts sorta became a reality when he managed to punch the girl so hard on the jaw that it dislocated, and he managed to get a few hits in on the other people who laughed, but with how many people that were group, it wasn't particularly hard to overcrowd his surroundings and give him a broken arm with a black eye. Sera questioned it through text when he said he couldn't leave the infirmary until doc said he could and wanted her to come over so he wasn't bored, but he didn't give much of a response other than the simple "I'm a Cripple" explanation that needed no explanation in itself.

He blamed it on those bastards who attacked his old apartment. He got such an intense feeling of rage in his heart that he couldn't help but break them every which way, but ever since he killed those fuckers, whenever he heard or saw anyone say anything even remotely negative about his Savior, he's had an underlying itching urge to just hurt something. But he wasn't wanting to cause himself harm for once. He wanted to cause other people harm.

That usually never happened. Most of his more violent thoughts were him causing harm to himself, not other people. And while he would prefer to think that meant he was finally steering away from self harm like his Savior was trying to get him to do, he had a feeling that getting a taste of what it was like to kill had caused this phenomenon. His violent thoughts were no longer just a desire to cause pain, but a desire to cause pain in a way that would be fatal.

But John didn't think he could today, because while he was zoning out and just walking around campus in his uniform with his backpack, he felt someone grab his bag and harshly drag him back until he was standing in front of someone. Zeke. It just had to be Zeke, didn't it.