After the End [ The 100 ]

37. Death isn't that great anyway

——eiden

She doesn't actually want me to shoot her right? We still have somewhere to go.

Then again, she did just lose her kids. And this is the land she grew up on. Depending on how spiritual Grounders are — and I saw her praying — what if she believes that her family's souls are still here? Does she think this is how she reunites with her brother and sister? Possibly her parents.

It doesn't help that my arms are like twigs slowly being bent at opposite ends.

What is this? What is her plan here?

I could easily point the bow somewhere else or just drop my arms, but I can literally feel her body heat tickling my fist, so she'd just move in front again.

A spark lights in Aileks' eyes. "We are murderers and killers."

I shake my head because I know that's her. If she's trying to convince herself, she won't be able to. She saved my life more than once. Now we're going somewhere so she can do it again – in a different way, granted, but the only way that counts.

"Are you listening to me? We kill our children for tradition, and when there's no reason to, it is our fault when they're slaughtered." My eyebrows raise in concern as her eyes gloss. "But they are dead, and that is survival of the fittest. Now kill me!"

"Aileks," that is not your fault, I want to say. I've seen my share of mental breaks and this feels like one.

Finally, she nods, and I can suck in a breath. I really thought she was trying to push me to kill her. To do something terrible. But she's finally backed down, and now we can move on from this.

Do I run from her and save myself? This is another level lacking self-preservation, but it seems like more than that too.

No, that's not who she is. I've seen that. Someone who protects and mentors children wouldn't betray someone who trusts them. Do I trust her? Maybe I do. She hasn't tried to hurt me yet

I lower my bow, furrowing my brows lightly.

Her arm suddenly jerks back, but all she's done is backed up. Then, as her body slowly moves out of the way of her hand, I catch the long blade of the knife above her fist.

"Aileks?" I ask. What is this now? She has a knife for what other reason? Her arm is poised to throw it at me, but I still can't bring myself to lift my bow go. "I'm not going to shoot you. What is this?"

"You have to. Or I will kill you, like the rest of my people do."

Let's think about this. Can I really dodge that knife? If she were to chuck it at me–

"Lift your bow."

I shake my head softly. If this is what she wants, I'm not giving it to her. I won't let Aileks kill herself. Especially without knowing why first.

Her expression remains still. A hollowed look crosses her face before everything changes in an instant.

A low growl first, and then that same blade comes swinging at my face. With widened eyes, I move out of the way. This is just like my fight with the Guards on the Ark. Aileks is behind me now, and before I can do anything her hands have grabbed my shoulders.

The world slows down as the sky rises above me until grass and tree trunks are where the clouds should be.

Shit, she's just flipped me over her.

Letting out a cough, my brain finally begins to register what's happening. Aileks is actually going to kill me.

My shoulders press into the dirt, and my leg feels useless despite it working just a few minutes ago.

Ali. Clarke.

With Aileks on top of me, running isn't an option. She's just so strong. I can't punch her with her forearm pinning my shoulders.

Arrow, arrow!

My eyes flit down to my hip, leaving her fire pits momentarily. My quiver is still there.

But everything stops when I feel the light pressure on my chest.

My chin reaches my collarbone. I need to keep my eyes open, but they only close.

This is what I wanted.

The metal point is right beside my heart. Life and death is separated by an inch.

Which is great, just amazing. My eyes find Aileks' again as I shake my head slowly. "Go ahead. I deserve it."

Her forearm is already making it hard to breathe as it continues to press below my collarbone. There's no getting out of this or away from the knife. I should've known it was too good to be true. She brought me here to kill me.

Maybe she knew the Grounder I killed. Maybe they hunted together or shared archery tips and she immediately recognized his bow the first time she saw me.

She deserves to at least look me in the eye as she does it. For her friend's sake, she should know that I'm really gone. That's why I stare into her rage-filled eyes, allowing mine to gloss over.

Just then, Aileks' eyes widen impossibly as she scrambles for a second. Then she's pushing herself off the ground and backing up from me. The knife is tossed over to the side the second she's on her feet.

What, why didn't she just kill me?

On the back of my elbows, I watch as she silently reels. Her body becomes rigid and erect as she just stands with her head turned to the side. The veins in Aileks' neck pop as her chest rises and falls rapidly.

What is she looking at over there? I look away briefly to answer my own question. Just the trees. Squinting, nobody is there. Nothing that should have her attention like that.

"You didn't shoot," she finally says.

I didn't want to. Mostly, I was just confused.

Finally picking myself off the ground, I dust off my pants and tighten my jacket around my waist. "That would've been self defense."

Aileks meets my eyes finally, still clearly holding something back. It's evident by her tight throat and stiff movements.

Placing the arrow I debated using back into my quiver, I make sure she knows what I'm going to say is true. "The most important thing to me... isn't saving myself. It's saving the people I care about."

end of season one.