Saviour (A Phanfiction)

Chapter Eight

Warning: this chapter does contain suicidal thoughts and tendencies. But is very fluffy by the end to balance it out.
Please remember to stay safe.
Enjoy

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'Phil, I think I may be in love with you." ...
He yanks me closer and presses his lips straight to mine. I'm stunned, electricity flows through my body in hot warm shocks of euphoria. He pulls me closer to him and wraps his arms around mt neck and we topple onto the sofa.
I smile and kiss him back, tasting the sweet taste of his lips.
I let go and look up at him, he looks down at me. His blue eyes shining above me, his smile cute, brightening my day completely.
"I love you too Dan." He says....

I open my eyes, I look around, it's dark outside, the lamp on beside me, Phil on the other side of the bed.
"Uh, Phil what happened?"
"You fainted." He says in a monotonal voice. His arms crossed. He looks terribly worried, but I see sterness in his posture and great sadness in his eyes. "Why didnt you tell me Dan?" He says suddenly.
"Tell you what?" I reply drowsily.
Phil bites his lip then raises my arm.
I look up at his hand then at what he's indicating: the lines upon lines along scars of red all up my arm.
"Phil..."
"Dan you twit, why would you do this to yourself? Tell me."
"Because my life is not worth living! " I shout, getting up, grabbing my jumper and storming out the room.
"DAN!" He yells grabbing my shoulder and stopping me in my tracks.
"Get off me Phil!" I growl not daring to look at him. Tears burn my eyes and I yank away from him.
"DAN!" he calls again. He grabs my arm and pulls me back into his room hard. I trip on my way in and almost fall over. I steady myself before I do.
"What are you doing? " I exclaim. He slams the door and locks it shut. I catch glimsp of the window, then glare at Phil.
"We are having a little talk, okay?" He snarls. I have never seen Phil this way before and its scary to see such a quiet, nice, kind, innocent person this furious. "Why? Dan, why would you do that to yourself? Tell me please." He whines. His voice cracks and tears start to slowly form on his face.

I stand a decent 4 feet away from him, as close to the window as I can. I look at the window again, I stare at the blackness of night, the bright lights formed only by the stars in the sky, the white bright moon. It's beautiful and dark, like all my dreams.
"Dan talk to me please!" He cries. I look over to him, watch him, mouth parted, standing there crying.
"I- I don't know!" I stammer. He closes his eyes and adjusts his fringe. He takes a big breath, composing himself and steps towards me. I step back, closer to the beautiful darkness. "Stay there Phil." I say, pleading actually.
I really don't want him any closer to me. My heart is already racing, my breathing erratic, my entire body shaking.
"Well you can at least tell me when you started to?" He says, obeying to my plead and sitting down on the bed with his head in his hands.
"I can't remember Phil." I say harshly.
"Why do it?!" He shouts so loud I jump, I feel my eyes go wide at that at I watch him break down into tears.
I want to comfort him. I want to, but something is holding me back. Something that controls my emotions.

I turn and rush to the window, climb out of it and stand on the small balcony that he has.
"DAN!" he shouts. Tears form and I let out a horrible sound of complete sadness.
"You don't understand what it is like to be tormented all your life, to be put in fights and get the crap beaten out of you every single day, to have parents who are always at work so they barely see you, so you can't get their help for anything. You dont understand what it is like to be bullied for you freaking sexuality of all things-" my voice cracks and I press my back against the railing, I slide up, so Im sitting on the railing.
"Get down Dan!" He cried appearing on the balcony as fast as humanly possible.
"NO! No one would care if I died, no one would miss me, my life is already screwed up: im going to fail my exams, everyone at school hates me, they wouldn't care, they'll be better off-"
"Dan! You're making no sense whatsoever, get down and think reasonably!" He demands.
The railing is cold metal. A small breeze flows past us both and I glare at Phil.
"I am making sense."
"No you're not, people will care. I will care if you died,' he says. My throat hurts from how much i've been crying but I still manage to snort at that comment.
"You're just saying that so I get down. It always happens, people will say that they "would care" if I-"
"Wait, 'it always happens?' Dan how many times have you done this?" He says completely worried.
He wouldn't care if I died right now. It would be him losing another weight in his life, his life will be better off without me. The shock will be there for a few weeks, but then he'll find a new friend, someone better deserving than me.
"Actually forget it Dan, if you want to fall down, go ahead and do it but trust me when I say: you will regret it in your after life because you would have missed out on having the greatest love of your life. But hey, if you want to jump, do it."
"Ugh, Phil, what do you mean?" I growl as more tears fall.
"Do I really need to say it?" He says quietly, disappointed, but over powered by frustration.
"Say what? You're only doing this to get me down from here."
"NO IM NOT!" he shouts.
"Then why do you care so much?" I exclaim in a croak as my voice cracks.
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" He shouts at the top of his lungs, he then falls to his knees and just cries. "I fucking love you Dan. I have since I first saw you."
My tears turn ice cold and my heart skips a beat.
My head spins.
"Im sorry." I whisper.
I push myself from the balcony.